Real World Roundup: Kim Kardashian Defeated in the War on Saying Stupid Shit

Kim Kardashian, never failing to outdo herself, compared her struggle with marriage and divorce to the cancer plight of a teenage girl. She's quoted as saying “I think that, with any decisions in life [brace yourselves], like, I spoke to a girl today who had cancer and we were talking about how this is such a hard thing for her, but it taught her a big lesson on who her friends are and so much about life. She's 18. And I was like, that's how I feel.” Oh Kim, your struggles are so similar except in your case, you got married on TV for money and everyone thinks of your family as a big malignant tumor that's killing the soul of America. In her case, she actually has one, you freak. Read article >>

Miley Cyrus and her relatively new haircut got into a brawl in an LA club this weekend with some randos. She's being named a suspect in the case of “Liam got in my face and Miley like, yelled at me” which apparently can also be known as battery by judicial standards. We're sure Miley didn't hit anyone when defending her fiancee but isn't it weird that no one asks the question of where Miley gets her fake ID from since this 19 year old is casually allowed in clubs? I mean we get that she's famous but this article doesn't even mention the fact that she's not really allowed to be there in the first place. Read article >>

Lindsay Lohan reminds Obama that celebrities are poor people too and they deserve tax cuts as well. The former star of Mean Girls, Chateau Marmont vigilante, and our favorite fuck up Linds Lo could not have made a better point. Who cares about the middle and lower classes and their tax cuts? If those people want to pay less taxes they should tell their dads to get a better job, fucking duh. Lindsay on the other hand, has had almost more jobs than she has DUI arrests and she's like, really pretty. Let them eat cake and have last season alcohol-monitoring bracelets! Read article >>

TMZ is speculating that a tattoo Chris Brown recently got on his neck is one of Rihanna. The tattoo, which looks absolutely nothing like Rihanna and which actually bears a stronger resemblance to Michael Jackson, could not be reached for comment. Talk about creating something out of nothing. It reminds us of the scene in Not Another Teen Movie when Janey draws the stick figure of her mother. “She has such beautiful eyes.” Chill, TMZ. It must be a slow news day for you. Read article >>


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