When it comes to drama, Vanderpump Rules is the show that never sleeps. God, what would I do without these human garbage disposals? Our very own self-proclaimed feminist (her words, not mine) Lala Kent has gotten herself into yet another feud with another woman, and many below-the-belt insults were hurled. This time, it’s with her very own boyfriend’s ex-wife, Ambyr Childers. Since season six premiered and Lala’s relationship with Randall Emmett has been made public, Randall’s ex-wife has stayed pretty quiet about the whole situation. (By “situation” I mean “her husband having an affair with a reality TV star while he was still technically married.”) But I guess on Saturday something in Ambyr snapped, because she dragged Lala on Instagram. There’s a lot to unpack in this feud here, so settle in because we’ll be here a while.
On Saturday, Ambyr Childers Instagrammed what looks to be a screenshot of a text conversation between herself and Lala, and the tone of the messages is not exactly cordial.
“Leave my name out of your mouth homegirl,” the first message in the series of rage texts reads. “When your child comes to me with what you’ve said…there’s going to be a problem. Enough with that. It’s as low as it gets,” the messages continue. “And I’m nothing like you. First I can hold on to a man. Secondly I have a job. And thirdly is [sic] never get engaged to someone 2 weeks after the ink is dry on my divorce papers.”
Ambyr posted the screenshots, captioning them with, “Be kind to unkind people. They need it the most.”
Okay, wow, there’s a lot to unpack here. Right off the bat, we can all but confirm the rage-texter in question is Lala, given the word choice and overall tone in the texts. On the one hand, I’m dismayed that she still tries to talk like a teenaged rapper, even in her private life. On the other hand, I can sort of respect the dedication to her personal brand.
Diving into the actual content of these rage texts, I’m going to do a lot of speculation to fill in the blanks. It seems like Ambyr was talking about Lala to her kids, and I’m guessing she didn’t say anything good. I’ve never been in this situation, but rule #1 on r/relationships (from where I derive most of my advice these days) says talking shit about the ex’s new
mistress S.O. to the kids is a big no-no. At the same time, it’s got to be tough to watch your husband turn into a walking cliché of a middle-aged man, trading his wife up for a tiny blonde two decades his junior. When you add in the facts that said tiny blonde thinks she’s Tupac, is on a reality show, and wants to be taken seriously despite being a grown woman who goes by “Lala,” and I would also struggle to refrain from talking shit. I’m only human, ya know?
But even though Ambyr may have started out in the wrong, Lala just took this to an extreme and unnecessary place (a summary of how most of her feuds go these days, tbh). Disparaging Ambyr for being unable to “hold on to” her husband is, frankly, gross. It is not a woman’s job to “hold on” to her partner; if someone wants to cheat they will do it, regardless of how great their spouse is (see: Ciara, Jennifer Garner, etc.). It’s also laughable considering Randall cheated on his wife with Lala in the first place. How you gonna be a willing participant in adultery and then make fun of the scorned spouse for getting cheated on? I’ve also got to laugh at Lala’s self-imposed position of moral superiority. She calls Ambyr out for getting engaged a few weeks after her divorce was finalized (*cough* Scheana), but apparently sees nothing wrong with sleeping with—and dating—someone who is STILL FUCKING MARRIED. Whatever planet Lala lives on, can I get an invite? Earth is pretty rough rn.
This feud feels like watching a couple air their dirty laundry on social media—the drama is kind of fun, but also very uncomfortable, and you want to know the full story since you’re getting dragged into their business anyway. In the one corner, we have Lala, whose faux-gangster, aggressive affect just makes her look even more immature. In the other corner, we have Ambyr, whose attempt at shade in the caption and public Instagramming in the first place just makes her look petty and vindictive. Two women enter. Nobody leaves looking sane. *Takes a huge handful of popcorn* Next time, Ambyr, stick to subtweets.
Lala has yet to respond, which is pretty surprising. I’m just waiting to see if she’s going to tweet at Ambyr, asking if she’s “tryna get popped”.
Update: On Monday, Lala posted an Instagram that appears to be a response to Ambyr’s post.
“I’ve met my soulmate,” the caption reads. “I’ll protect you and our family through everything. Keeping things sacred, knowing our real life will never be up for grabs. Thank you for loving my crazy ass. I know it ain’t easy, daddy. You mean the universe and more to me.”
First of all, VOMIT! I truly don’t care if anybody calls their boyfriend daddy in the privacy of their bedrooms (I can even understand why you’d be into that), but nobody wants to see that shit in a public space! It’s like, kind of scarring that Lala probably calls her boyfriend the same term of endearment that his actual children do. And now that that thought has crossed my mind, I have no choice but to pour bleach into my hear in the hopes that it reaches my brain.
Second of all, and more importantly, is this a thinly veiled clap back at Ambyr? Seems like it, what with the “our” family. (Is Lala like, including his kids in this? That seems a little premature.) And “keeping things sacred,” as opposed to how Ambyr just aired their dirty laundry on Instagram. Obviously I can’t say for sure, and neither Lala nor Ambyr have confirmed anything, but it seems like a response to me. While we await official confirmation, I’ll be boiling a kettle of water and waiting for somebody to spill the tea.