Sponsored by Queen V
Last summer (guys, remember summer?!), I wrote about the launch of feminine wellness brand Queen V. In case you missed it, Queen V is a female-run company that shares my frustration with mainstream feminine hygiene products: they’re gross, expensive, loaded with chemicals, and—in my personal experience—work about half the time. (If you’re internally rolling your eyes right now, you are either a man or have never had a vaginal issue. I will not be accepting comments from either group at this time.) Queen V’s products one-up existing products at every turn: they’re affordable, formulated with your comfort and health in mind, and f*cking cute. (Sue me, I love a good bathroom shelf aesthetic.)
I’m not just here to rant about the state of feminine hygiene, though trust me—I could do that all day. I’m here to bless your winter with the news that Queen V is launching 7 new products and a subscription service (like FabFitFun for vaginas!). Here are my personal faves from the new product line—all available nationwide at Walmart and online.
Royal Pain is an essential oil spray designed to reduce general pain, and I’ve found that it’s especially helpful for cramps, headaches, the all-consuming need to eat your body weight in chocolate (ok, not the last one). You know, just girly things! Specially formulated with lavender, cardamom, marjoram, and sage, this spray is applied to wherever you feel pain for instant relief. I’ll be honest: I’d do just about anything to get relief from bad period cramps, which means I’m currently taking a disgusting amount of Advil every month and probably f*cking up my stomach even more. So yeah, happy to replace that with a cute lil spray bottle of essential oils.
You’re The **it
You’re the **it (get it??) is a pack of feminine hygiene and after-bathroom wipes. Yes, they are flushable. Yes, they would have completely changed my life this past year when I spent three months on set using Port-a-Potties. Nope, not bitter at all, why do you ask? Obviously, these wipes are a godsend for any kind of risky bathroom situation—whether you’re backpacking (ew), going to Coachella, or just staying over at a guy’s place for the first time. And speaking of that last scenario, I will certainly be bringing You’re The **it with me if I think I’m getting lucky that night. Not that there’s anything wrong with my lady parts as they are—but if I could trick a guy into thinking I naturally smell like evening primrose instead, then yes, I’ll take that option.
Let’s be real, no one is 100% their authentic self while dating.
Livin’ Libido Loca
Livin’ Libido Loca is a sexual enhancement dietary supplement, a product I would be wary of from most other companies. I’ll be honest: I would love to think of myself as a wanton sex goddess, flitting from one man to the next with ease. But frankly, I don’t have the time, energy, or Teflon vagina required for that lifestyle. Every now and then, my body needs a little boost to join the party, and that’s where Livin’ Libido Loca comes in. It helps up your energy levels, increase blood flow, and counteract dryness. If you’ve ever sexted someone for hours, then felt too exhausted to follow through on it later, congratulations on being human these supplements are for you.
V Basic Kit
V Basic Kit is the subscription service I mentioned earlier. The box arrives at your door every month, and contains four of Queen V’s original products: the dd probiotic, swipe right wipes, v bar, and the spritzer. Basically, products you should already be buying on a monthly basis anyway (if you don’t use a probiotic by now, WTF are you doing?), and none of the hassle of actually leaving your house. Yes please!
(Note: p.s. i lube you, pictured below, is not part of the Basic Kit. I do strongly recommend buying it separately.)
So, the good news: now that you know about Queen V, you can start giving your lady parts the treatment they deserve. It literally couldn’t be easier—all products are available online, but even if you have a day-of emergency, Queen V products can be found nationwide at your local Walmart. (If you’re an NYC-dweller like me and can’t remember the last time you saw a Walmart, no worries: Queen V’s Original products are now available nationwide at Rite Aid, too.) Other new products include Itch Don’t Kill My Vibe (an itch-reducing spray), On Your Mark (a stretch mark stick), Queen It Up (a pH-balanced cleansing wash), and Rub Me The Right Way (an anti-chafe stick). So please, stop buying products made by people who don’t understand your needs (men). Your body and your bank account will thank you.
Images: Queen V
Sponsored by Queen V