Product Of The Week: Fitbits

If there is one thing that bonds all betches, it’s that we win at everything. And this includes our bodies. Which is why we fucking love fitness trackers—they combine 2 of our top passions, being skinny and winning. Who doesn’t love winning at being skinny?

So many brands are making fitness trackers these days: Fitbit, Nike, Misfit, Jawbone, Samsung, Garmin; it goes on and on.  We love these things for the same reason we love #179 (Expensive Workout Clothes), exercising is not an excuse for a lack of sartorial appeal. Oh and the fact that wearing a Tory Burch Fitbit happens to shout, “I could literally run a marathon right now and if I don’t feel like it I can still measure my heart rate during yoga,” is a great added bonus.

Regardless of the whole “tracking-your-fitness” aspect of fitness trackers, betches also always just happen to have the latest and greatest things. Example: remember back in 10th grade when you were the first one to get an iPhone and no one else got one for like a year? Oh the days of losers and their flip phones…

A key pillar of the betchy way of life is that we DGAF, and yet everything works out perfectly. Fitness trackers go right along with this lifestyle. They are the betchy paradox: literally measuring every move we make, but we don’t have to do shit to make it happen. It tracks everything for us, no calculations needed. We just open the app and everything’s right there, we can instantly deduce how far we have to run to work off that bottle of Pinot we had with dinner.

Fitness trackers are expensive, exclusive, and elite, the 3 things all modern betches look for when shopping for workout gear or basically anything. So if you want to be a fit betch, go out and buy a Fitbit.


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