Pretty Little Liars Recap: Merry MakesnosenseMas

What was the point of that episode? It was like, oh shit, we can’t make a Halloween episode because of some scheduling issues!? That’s chill, let’s keep this one (somewhat)-pertinent-to-plot convo scene with Ali and post-mortem-Mona and just like, fucking chuck it into a last minute Christmas episode. No one will notice that it makes no sense whatsoever, time wise or outfit wise. Well guess what PLL show runners, we noticed. WE FUCKING NOTICED. So much so that at one point I was like, wait, did Ali dream the Christmas party? I’m SO confused. Why are Mona and Ali reenacting Ghosts of Girlfriends Past?

So while Ali was having a heart to heart with Mona apparently about her new job in Heaven as a Mac makeup artist, the other girls were up to the usual. Breaking and entering in fabulous ball gowns.

But before we discuss fashion, we need to talk about this Christmas party. So this was, “Ali’s Party.” Why is this the most elegant party ever seen on television, like Kyle Richards white party wasn’t even as nice. Didn't they just go to a rodeo in the high school gym? Are we supposed to believe Ali threw that herself in like a month, while being A, grieving her mother’s death, dropping a few pounds, and supposedly being haunted by dead Mona. ALSO, why were there no adults there except inappropriate Detective Holbrook who dressed it down in his Santa 'stume and a wife beater? Wasn’t he a respectable good cop a week ago? Now he’s a bad cop who dresses like he loves his Mom tattoo and kills it with da ladies in his trailer.

Further more, how are these people so chill with partying after a girl in their grade was brutally murdered. Like Mona’s dead LETS TAKE SHOTS. Like no one’s even crying, Hanna barely cares, except that one special moment when she looked at a pic of her on her phone near the fireplace.

AND ANOTHER THING. Since when are we chill with Ezra like being part of the crew? Isn’t he still their English teacher? Don’t they stop and ask, dude why are you here? You’re our English teacher.

Other random shit I Had problems with / LOL moments

What was Hanna volunteering for when she wore an elf costume and threatened to kill an 8 year old. Was it really deserving a hug from Caleb after? Awww you’re such a good person, it was so cute how you told off that little girl.

Where are Spencer’s parents? In fact where are anyone’s parents!? MONA WAS JUST BRUTALLY MURDERED. BRUTALLY. ILL SAY IT AGAIN. BRUUUUTALLYYY. Like blood everywhere The Shining style. And Spencer is like out on bail yet, nah, everyone’s parents are just MIA. Not trying to check in.

Spencer: Toby, this may be my last Christmas. Do you want to do Santacon?

Ezra gets Aria fugly costume jewelry to apologize for potentially murdering and stalking her friends for the past 4 years.

Two words: Bruce’s Pantsuit

I don’t understand, did men at this holiday party get randomly assigned to Santa Suits?

I can’t keep track, is Jenna blind or not?

Spencer and Hanna make the intelligent decision to stay in their long ass evening gowns during their stealth break in. The one they do while Spencer is out on bail. 

Spencer is so concerned for Hanna that when she sees A is coming for her, she manages to have time to type quotes around A in her text message!

Also, A had a knife yet Hanna was left unharmed. Just fainted from a little sugar withdrawal. Further proving that this show will never hurt their main members and we are always left BORED AS FUCK.

Toby flashing his fucking flashlight across the house as if anyone knows he’s even there. GO HOME TOBY YOU’RE DRUNK.

Wow A, bone chilling. You decorated their very large, hard to reach, Christmas tree. That’s some scary shit right there. At least we know you’re tall, and have access to very high ladders. 

Omg the boyfriends + Paige in their sexy Christmas surprise. DIE. How did Toby get out of his wheelchair and into his Santa shorts on the stairs?

The Sort of Important Stuff

So way back when, they aired a Halloween episode with a weird flashback to where one twin like kills another twin. That was important we thought for the general A plot. Here the only important thing was Ali's weird Halloween-esque flashbacks when she was shown by way of Mona that Ali's mom bought 2 sets of dresses when she was young. Was one for Bethany Young? Or Cece Drake? Who's the father!? Who's the kid?! We're as confused as ever so this analysis isn't that helpful we're realizing now. WE were a little bit more clear in our last recap.


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