Pope Francis Used to be a Bouncer

In quite possibly the betchiest news of the Holiday Season, it was revealed this week that Pope Francis used to be a bouncer. We can only imagine how tough it must have been for the pope to work the door at Finale, having to choose between which hot betches got in and which fuglies to turn away at the door. How many tables does a bro have to buy to get into Heaven? I mean, they say Jesus loves all his children but that doesn't mean they're getting into the fucking club. So even though we know that Francis' prior civic duty included tasks slighly less pious than say, Mother Theresa he earns like way more cool points. If JC loves popping bottles that might be something we need to get into. 

Source: LA Times

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