Welcome to the weekend, where, here in the U.S., we’re all v likely to die of heat exhaustion! Bless. But srsly, how long till fall, lol. This weekend, we’ve got Pluto and Venus teaming up, so that’ll mess up all kinds of sh*t for, well, most of us. From complicating relationships to making us feel all the feelings, we are gonna go through it this weekend. Luckily, Mercury making its way through Cancer from Friday until mid-August will even things out, and communication will come a lot easier for our star signs. Ah, the planets: yet another thing I can point to as the reason for my moodiness and inability to love. Here we go.
Be the bigger person, Cancer, even if you want to f*ck some sh*t up. A negative Nancy in your inner circle is all about dampening your good mood, but try to ignore it this weekend and focus on better sh*t, like good food and a classy wine tasting. Mercury in your sign on Friday will push you to learn new things, especially when it comes to love. Maybe you’ll finally brave some weird sex stuff, or learn to open up emotionally. Either one, honestly. Just be sure to keep an eye on your emotions, since f*cking Pluto this weekend is teaming up with Venus to complicate relationships.
Relax, Leo. Work has been brutal this week, and the weekend, what with its record high temperatures forecasted, will be a great time to sit in the AC and unwind. Go get a massage somewhere fancy, or drink wine in your bathrobe. It’s whatever. Plus, your romance outlook isn’t like, amazing this weekend anyway, what with Pluto pushing you to your most stressful, so it’s a perfect weekend to lay low.
Get out with your biddies, Virgo. It’s a great weekend to refuel with your besties while you’re out and about. Go urban hiking and shop outdoors, or head to a winery to embarrass yourselves. I know canceling plans is always a welcome respite, but, this weekend you really need to push yourself to get out and do some fun sh*t. It’ll be worth it. Once the girls’ weekend is over, Pluto will inspire you to talk through and discover what you need in your relationship to make it sparkle, so prepare for some deep but awesome convos with your honey or new beau.
Look at the good, but don’t lose sight of the potentially bad this weekend, Libra. Your friends and co-workers think you’re amazing (with good reason; you’re super awesome), but you could clash with close loved ones and family this weekend if you give in to jealous vibes. Don’t give in and keep being you—focus on the positive. Take your mind off any bad juju by heading outdoors or getting lost in some murder porn on Netflix.
Reach out to your friends and family that live far, far away, Scorpio. It seems like sort of a weird way to focus your weekend, but we promise you’ll feel super warm and fuzzy after either visiting in person or video chatting from home. On the love front, if you’re dealing with a long distance love interest, the romance could definitely go next level on Saturday. Just be careful of your paranoia and jealousy, which, unless they’re super legit, could totally ruin the relationship. Pluto merging with Venus over the weekend will also have you feeling very high highs and very low lows, so just keep that in mind if your relationships (near or far) feel like an emotional rollercoaster.
Keep the good vibes going, Sagittarius. This weekend you’ll likely be feeling super good about your relationship physically, emotionally, and sexually (yay). So make sure you have a date night planned with your new or steady lovah. Things could reaaaaally heat up Friday or Saturday night. However, money questions could throw things off, so try to go with the flow for a bit before bringing all that business up. If you’re single, concerns about people’s credit, student loans, and other financial matters could be keeping you from finding someone you jive with, so chill tf out and try not to get into credit scores before at least date four.
Stop focusing on yourself, Capricorn, at least this weekend. Trust friends, family, and significant others this weekend to plan entertainment and activities so you can relinquish some control. Things aren’t always going to go your way, and this weekend is a great opportunity to explore that. Like, we get that you really wanted the fry and mozzarella stick basket again as an appetizer, but will it kill you to let your hubs indulge in the nachos this once? No. So chill tf out.
It’s okay if you need to pound away on a work project or big time cleaning extravaganza this weekend, Aquarius—it’ll make Monday and the week ahead that much more tolerable. Plus, cleaning and pounding away on work will take your mind off of the negativity you’ve been holding on to, so it could be a good thing to focus on the “not so fun” tasks like vacuuming, dusting, and merger spreadsheets this Saturday. You’re totally good to reward yourself afterward with beer and pizza, too.
You’ve got a fun-filled weekend in store, Pisces, so don’t f*ck it up. Get lost in your favorite hobby (drinking) with friends, or schedule a date with a new person or your significant other on Saturday. The planets are working their magic for you to be your best self, so don’t waste the opportunity. Looks like your online dating life will get a boost from Mercury in Cancer on Friday, too, so be sure to actually check in on your dating apps.
Don’t text your ex, Aries. You may feel the need to throw an impromptu get-together this weekend, but try to avoid inviting exes that’ll totally complicate the vibe. Same rules go for bros you’d love to smash, but are either already wifed up or just emotionally unavailable. Save yourself the trouble (and drama) and look elsewhere this weekend. We promise you’ll still have a good time without them.
Let love (and like, people) in, Taurus. You’ve been kind of in a hole this past week, so expect messages from friends and family looking to catch up. They love you, so don’t be a jerk. Impromptu meetups are all the rage this weekend, so go against your desire to cancel plans Saturday and Sunday. You’ll actually be super great with communication this weekend, too, thanks to Mercury making its way through Cancer, so look for opportunities to chat it up with new and old friends.
Spend that money, Gemini—you earned it. But remember to not dig your credit hole any deeper or expect your significant other to pay for everything. Being an adult means being smart about your finances, unfortunately, so be sure to keep that in mind when you’re throwing out the cash for a triple cheese pizza, pedicure, and massage. There are plenty of responsible ways to enjoy your weekend, so, yes, feel free to spend, just don’t go nuts.
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