How To Pull Off Pink Eyeshadow Without Looking Diseased

It’s true that all of the best things come in pink: just for instance, my iPhone and the wine I’m holding in my hand rn. But, like, as my eye makeup? Unless you’ve been living under a rock you’ve probably seen some try-hard actress—cough…Lea Michele…cough—trying to reinvent the makeup wheel by rocking the pink eye makeup trend on Instagram and/or red carpets everywhere and I really don’t fucking get it. I’m trying to look like a Plastic, not like someone I write about in my burn book, fucking duh.

But apparently this trend is here to stay and it’s becoming less of an editorial look and more of a regular beauty trend. The reason why escapes me but then again people also want to be engaged to Nick Viall so I guess that’s the world we’re living in these days.

Nick Viall

Maybe this look would be cool for Halloween or if you’re trying to look like you’re from Brooklyn, but wearing it to work? Tbh my boss already thinks I drink too much in my free time, no need to make her think I also have a casual drug problem as well. Like, can a girl have some mystery left please?? But I know some of you betches are probably about this makeup look so since I’m feeling generous half a bottle deep into my rosé, I’ll try and teach you how to look fucked up pull off this trend. Because apparently on Wednesdays we wear pink eye now.

Lena Dunham Pink Eye

Seriously WTF.


To call that sketchy kid from your dorm to see if he has any “tickets.” Or if you’re going more of the makeup route, a small blending brush, pink blusher like bareMinerals Ready Blush, and an angled liner brush. Tbh either way these tools will get you looking fucked up pretty in pink.


First, prep your eyes by using foundation to completely conceal any redness and unevenness on the lids. Yes, get rid of the redness before you actually paint them fucking red. *sips more wine*

Sips Wine

Then, you take a small blending brush and softly apply your blusher just into the crease line of the eyelids. Work the brush backwards and forwards until the edges have blended evenly.


Use the angled liner brush to apply the blusher along your upper and lower lash lines, for a subtly graphic tweaker chic effect.


(Optional) Apply the same blusher to the high areas of your cheeks and contrast the texture with a soft pink gloss on the lips so your whole face can look like you’ve dipped it in fun dip.

Pink Eye Shadow

And voilà! Your boss definitely thinks you have a coke problem now.

But seriously, is it just me or does the finished look make you look like you have actual conjunctivitis? Or that you’ve been up for 4 days straight on an Adderall binge? Either way, I want to call a doctor for you. Whatever, if you need me I’ll just be here, googling pictures of this moronic beauty trend and crying for the state of our world into this empty bottle of rosé.

Ryanne Probst
Ryanne Probst
Ryanne wants you to know that her name is pronounced “Ryan” and that this is her childhood trauma. Formerly published as “It’s Britney, Betch” she’s the resident recapper for all things ‘Bachelor.' When she’s not talking sh*t, she’s drinking $8 wine and contemplating ways to burn ABC studios down to the ground. Catch her on Instagram (@ryprobst) where she’s either posting pictures of her dog or sliding into the DMs of former reality TV dating stars (you know who you are).