Big news betches, we're doing a special 'Dear Betch' series in partnership with the movie That Awkward Moment to decode reader-submitted texts and the guys behind them. The movie came out today and Zac Efron's in it, sooo like you should obvi go see it.
How does one even respond to this totally weird/awkward text that I got from this obviously crazy guy?
Why are you so obsessed with me?
Dear Why are You So Obsessed,
It’s obvious this guy is like in love with you or something. Generally no bro will send that intense of a paragraph with that much detail unless he’s really scared that he did something wrong. This guy obviously got nervous talking to you, tried to make a bad joke, realized he freaked you out. He then sent this to try to salvage any chance he has with you.
Let’s dig even deeper. This guy is clearly really, really into you because he’s asking his friend about you who told him you were freaked out. This then caused him to freak out and try and prove to you that he’s not a player or sexual deviant (‘I’ve had a girlfriend for the past 6 years’ aka I’m really into commitment and loyalty). He then tries to bring levity to the situation while proving that he’s clean by joking about midgets and hookers. Not sure if you’re into this guy but if you aren’t you should let him know nicely and directly because he’s obviously over there squirming. If you are, you should answer with a joke or something or this could get even more awkward.