236. Not Answering People’s Texts

The ultimate betchy mindfuckery is not answering people's texts. As a betch, our phones are clearly always blowing up and no one has the time to juggle all the unnecessary texts that overflow our inboxes on the reg. Messing with people and coping with our anxiety over this annoying AF influx is the ultimate killing two birds with one stone scenario. Or however that dumb saying goes.

Since maintaining a shady, non-committal attitude is a tenet for what it means to be a betch, not responding to people’s annoying and overwhelming messages is obviously a priority. No I really do not give a shit about what happened to you today at work – why don't you call your mom instead? It’s, like, her job to care. When these dumbasses think that you could care even one ounce about their meaningless day-to-day bullshit there’s only one thing to do and that’s just pretend you never saw it.

This is when read receipts become an issue and definitely a double-edged sword. On one hand we want to let people know we DGAF about the shit they’re spewing over text. We also enjoy playing mind games with SABs so with a read receipt, we can let them know that we did read their quick response about what they are doing on Friday night and simply couldn’t garner enough interest to answer.

On the flip side of this fucking puzzle we face as popular betches, is when people who are texting us get annoyed when we don’t answer questions or efforts to make plans. A text like this can be found in our inboxes if read receipts are on, “WHY AREN’T YOU FUCKING ANSWERING, I JUST ASKED 6 SIMPLE QUESTIONS!!!!” Literally, fuck off.

In my personal opinion I think keeping these controversial fuckers off is the way to go because it furthers your ability to make people wonder what you’re doing and why you aren’t answering (if you even took the time to read their irrelevant message).

Then there is the fact that when you simply just don’t answer, you decrease your anxiety about 50%. Non-betchy people feel bad and worry about unanswered texts in their inboxes. Like really? You’re going to worry about not texting Jamie back about what the best salad is at Panera? Tell her to read the fucking menu and make a decision on her own like any normal, functioning human being is perfectly capable of doing.

Philosophers and all those annoying spiritual people always say to accept what you can’t change and you will be much happier. Well betches, we just need to accept what we can’t change. By that we mean you just need to accept the fact that being the popular, hot, intelligent betch you are your phone will be constantly lighting up. Have some fun, play some mind games with people who think they can play you (no chance, SABs), and just stop giving a fuck about things like TEXTS. In the grand scheme of life, they mean nothing and 4 years from now Becky won’t be mad at you because you didn’t answer her text about where you were pregaming that night. Instead, set your priorities straight and worry about your peeling gel mani and why the Starbucks line is out the door. We only have so much energy to dedicate to giving a shit and texting people back definitely doesn’t make that list.


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