I don't know how this is physically possible but in the recent year I have had the sex drive of a 17yr old boy. I see an attractive guy and all I think about is how big his dick is and if I would fuck him. I can usually stop obsessing, but when I'm at work and see my coworker every weekday it gets difficult! What is a girl to do? Is this normal? Do guys feel the same? There is no back story to this desire, I just want to fuck. I daydream of him bending me over my desk, sneaking to the back of the warehouse, or skipping lunch and heading to one of our places!!!
Help a Horny Betch Out
Dear You So Horny,
And this question, kids, is why abstinence-only education is a bad idea. Like, are you from Utah? Of course it's normal to have a sex drive. You might be going overboard with it, but if I had to guess I could say the reason you want it so bad is because you haven't had it in a year? Am I right?
Definitely don't fuck your coworker. If you do you're only setting yourself up for a future “I fucked my coworker and now it's super awkward in the office”-type Dear Betch letter. If you hook up and he doesn't call you/he has a weird dick/he tells the whole office, you're going to have to deal with him everyday (with clothes on) for like 8 hours. And judging by your letter you don't seem too smooth anyway so the risk of awkwardness is very high. To (mis)quote Lil Wayne, you should not jump up on that dick and do a full split.
But I have good news, there is something you can do: masturbate. Watch porn. Shit, get a fucking Tinder. This is 2015, like there's literally no need anymore to be so thirsty when you are (I assume) female and have a wifi connection.
Drink a fucking Gatorade,