Nicky Hilton – known in some circles as the Hilton without a sex tape – is engaged to the number one member of the lucky sperm club – James fucking Rothschild. ICYMI, like 3000 years ago the Rothschilds started making bank in some rando country in Europe and ever since then they’ve made the rest of the world their bitch. Seriously tho, they make Prince William look like a frat pledge who can’t get a bid. Hands down Nicky fucking won the “who’s the better sister” battle, I mean, she’s basically marrying into the Illuminati while Paris is playing some shitty EDM mix tapes. Congrats Nicky, hope this marriage lasts longer than your 3-month Las Vegas “whim”.