This New Poll Should Absolutely Terrify You

We’ve all heard that young people don’t vote, but the election of an orange reality TV racist to the highest office in the land made a lot of people think that was about to change. Apparently not. A new Gallup poll says that the amount of people aged 18-29 who are “certain to vote” is just 26%, compare that to 82% of people 65 and over and you’ll see why we have a major problem on our hands.

While enthusiasm for voting this November is higher than the past six midterm years, turnout among young people is still incredibly low. (Note to young people: if you’ve tweeted about Trump in the past two years but aren’t planning to vote in November, you’re tacky and I hate you.) Additionally, the poll found that Republican enthusiasm has finally caught up to Democrats, in large part due to the Kavanaugh hearings, putting the whole “blue wave” thing into major jeopardy. If the blue wave was something you were low-key counting on to finally put a stop to the never ending hellscape of 2018 politics, this sh*t should terrify you. If that’s not a problem for you and you’re totally on board with what our government has been up to the past 2 years, this article is probs not for you. Maybe try Sears Breitbart?

So WTF Do We Do?

Not down for another two years of whatever the f*ck has been going on in our politics lately? Same. Here’s what you can do to make voting like, v chic in 2018.

  1. Make sure you’re registered: Deadlines to be registered in many states are coming up faster than Trump can tweet, so the first thing you have to do is check your voter registration ASAP. Nobody wants to get up early to go to the polls on Election Day only to find out they’re not registered and don’t get a sticker.
  2. Make sure your friends are registered: Once you find out whether or not you’re registered, make sure all your friends are also voting. Be that annoying person who texts everyone about voting now so you don’t have to be that annoying person who won’t shut the f*ck up during Handmaid training later.
  3. Make a voting plan: Why not use voting as an excuse to hang with your friends? Figure out where your polling place is and make a plan to meet up with other friends in your neighborhood to vote on election day (which is November 6th, btw). Voting takes an average of 11 minutes, which is noting compared to the fact that you take double that amount of time figuring out the lighting on your “I voted” selfie. As an added bonus, voting with a friend means that you can have someone there to actually take a photo of you so you don’t have to awkwardly wave your arm around trying to figure out how to get the sticker in the shot.
  4. Get excited: Voting is fun! It’s even more fun if you do your research and walk into the voting booth knowing exactly who the f*ck you’re voting for, instead of being blindsided by the city counsel candidates and just picking the ones who seem chill based off their names. Also did we mention you get a free sticker? Because you do.

So like, wtf are you waiting for? Just vote already. This sh*t is getting ridiculous.

>Click here to check your registration with Rock The Vote and sign up for updates about elections in your area<<

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Alise Morales
Alise Morales
Alise Morales is a comedy writer and performer. She is the writer of the Betches Sup Newsletter and co-host of the Betches Sup Podcast.