New Study Says Diet Coke Helps You Lose Weight

A new study conducted by the American Beverage Association says that drinking diet soda helps you lose more weight than only drinking water. Now it's no secret that betches love #44 Diet Coke but like, come on ABA – we all know this study is bullshit. This would be like us putting out the results of a study we conducted that finds that reading our website makes you smarter. Sure the sample consists of me and my mom but like, that's science right? Anyway, I don't really give a shit and I'll take any excuse to continue drinking DC with dinner. A real betch knows that having a Diet Coke doesn't entitle her to eat whatever she wants but will never deny how nicely it pairs with our chopped salads. Who cares if artificial sweeteners are linked to cancer? What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? Anyone? 

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