New Moon Energy: Weekly Horoscopes June 3-7

This week has NME: New Moon Energy. That means it’s time for new beginnings. Out with the old and in with the new! And yes, that does mean a shopping spree.


“Omg I’d love to, but I’m sooooo busy!” — you to everyone for the past two weeks. It’s time to put the work down for a sec and actually have a social life. You’ve been living your life as the woman at the beginning of the rom-com who doesn’t have time for love because she’s too busy being the editor of a world-renowned magazine, but you need to start being the woman at the end of the rom-com, who is still the editor of a world-renowned magazine, but who has also learned how to love because of a hot guy from the wrong side of the tracks. Get it?


Ka-ching! This is the week to start earning some coin. Whether it be working overtime, agreeing to watch your friend’s dog (can you believe they pay people for this??), or just finally hitting remind on all those outstanding Venmos, you have money coming your way. Just try not to spend it *all* on experimental Korean skincare.


It’s your birthday month and you’re reaping all the celestial benefits! So why let fake friends bring you down? Make sure to set aside some time for your ride-or-dies this week rather than wasting energy on people who make you light up the group chat the moment they walk out of the room.


You’re feeling v emotional this week, Cancer. Like, even more than usual. Don’t be surprised if you tear up during any of the following events: a baby smiles at you, you see an old couple holding hands, a dog is in your general vicinity, etc., etc.


It’s time to branch out, Leo! There are going to be a whole host of parties, dinners, brunches, and activities coming your way, so why not go out on a limb and try something new? It won’t kill you. (Unless you interpret “trying something new” as “breaking into the lion cage at the zoo,” in which case that is on you.)


You’ve been working hard as f*ck lately, Virgo, and people are finally starting to take notice. Don’t shy away from compliments at your workplace, and own the fact that you’re a boss bitch. Nobody ever got promoted by pretending their work was nbd.


You’re kind of all over the place right now Libra, and you might as well embrace it. This is not the weekend for staying home and finally finishing your novel. This is the weekend for saying yes to 100 different plans and showing up to approximately 1% of them. It’s in the stars.


Wowwww you’re the center of attention right now and you def don’t hate it. Everyone’s eyes are on you this week, and you’d be crazy not to bask in your own glow. Just save a little shine for the rest of us.


Now is the time to make a love connection, Sagittarius. If you’re in a relationship, figure out what kind of date you want to go on and then drop hints about it all week (and yes, texting your bf “I want you to take me out for soup dumplings” does count as a hint). If you’re not, keep an eye out for Mr. or Mrs. right. Or at least, Mr. or Mrs. Is Eating Soup Dumplings With Me Right Now.


You’re spending this week with your favorite person…yourself! You’ve got some much needed alone time ahead of you, so stock up on some podcasts, bath bombs, and episodes of The Bachelorette. You’re gonna love you.


The new moon is rocking out in your house of fame and romance, so don’t be surprised if your latest selfie gets a ton of action, or if your tweet goes viral. What? It’s not your fault you’re so popular.


It’s time to reconnect with your OG crew, Pisces. This is the perfect week to reach out to your high school bff, or fire up the old college group chat. There’s a reason these people were friends with you wayyyy before you could hold your liquor.

Images: Giphy (12)

Alise Morales
Alise Morales
Alise Morales is a comedy writer and performer. She is the writer of the Betches Sup Newsletter and co-host of the Betches Sup Podcast.