National Championship Drinking Game

Betches, it's time for the holy grail of collegiate athletics: the National Championship football game. As we begrudgingly watch the Ohio State Buckeyes and Oregon Ducks spend three hours fighting for a trophy, let us at least find an excuse to do so.

That excuse is drinking.

Here is the proper way to watch the National Championship while getting inappropriately drunk on a Monday.

Drink each time:

  • Referee throws a flag
  • Commentators refer to Heisman winner Marcus Mariota as “talented, special, or a leader”
  • Commentators mention previously-eliminated Alabama and/or Florida State
  • Commentator  talks about uniforms
  • Camera pans to overweight Midwesterners in crowd wearing Ohio state gear
  • Camera pans to Oregon fan who looks stoned
  • Someone mentions the game is in Texas
  • Player makes gyrating motion with hips in celebration
  • Coach drops f-bomb on sideline and camera catches him
  • Ohio State coach Urban Meyer crosses his arms
  • Oregon coach Mark Helfrich squints
  • Game stops for injury
  • Turnover, like fumble or interception
  • Kicker misses a field goal
  • Touchdown

Shot for:

  • Fight
  • Hail-Mary touchdown
  • National trophy is presented


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