My Friend Might Be Pregnant. How Do I Help Her Not Freak Out? Dear Betch…

Dear Betches,

My best friend is most likely pregnant and she's starting to freak out and like cry (ew) I have no idea what to say to her because I don't like dealing with things. Seriously every time I have a pregnancy scare I refuse to think about it and it always works out.

I feel really bad and I want to comfort her but I have no idea what to say. How do I deal with her emotions and be a good friend?

Dear Preggo my Eggo (that was a line form Juno, right?),

I need to clear one thing up: what does “most likely pregnant” mean? Has she taken a pregnancy test? If not, take her to CVS and buy a First Response and wait outside the bathroom door while she pees on it—step one in being a good friend.

Basically in these types of situations your bestie needs to know that you’re there for her no matter what. If she needs someone to come with her to Planned Parenthood, you do it. If she wants you to stand next to her while she’s on the toilet and hold her hand, you do it. I sound like an ad for Girl Scout camp but this is what friends do: they help their friends through the scary, weird, embarrassing, and/or slightly gross shit that nobody else can be trusted with.

Your pregnancy scare style might be “ignore the problem, hope it goes away,” but that won't work for your friend. You can def try to distract her so she like, gets sleep, but you should also listen to her problems. You don’t even need to give her actual advice, just say, “That sucks” (shouts out to Parks and Rec for that), and throw in an, “I’m here for you.” Even though betches may not be known for showing emotion, learning that there is a very real possibility that a life is growing inside if you is definitely an appropriate situation to freak the fuck out, so let her cry, tell her everything’s going to be okay, and don’t make her feel bad about it. Fingers crossed this will all pass and after it does, then you can make fun of her for being a hysterical mess.

That’s what friends are for,

The Betches

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