Mila Kunis And Ashton Kutcher Prove You Can Marry Your Fuck Buddy If You’re Hot And Famous

Earlier this week Mila Kunis did an interview with Howard Stern on his SiriusXM show and told everyone that she and husband Ashton Kutcher started out merely as casual sex pals:

“We, oddly, both did a movie called—I did Friends With Benefits, he did a movie called No Strings Attached… If we just paid attention to these movies, we should know that s–t like this does not work out in real life. Well, we clearly didn’t pay attention. We shook hands, we’re like, ‘Let’s just have fun!’ I mean, literally, we lived out our movies. We literally just had a very open conversation.”

That’s cool, but I feel like there is a huge disclaimer missing here that says “DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME” in bolded, 72 point font. I think we’ve all had enough of these “let’s make a pact to ONLY have sex because it’s so crazy it just might work!” stories. I mean sure I enjoyed Friends With Benefits immensely, but that’s mostly because Justin Timberlake is my ultimate celeb crush and I’m projecting myself into the relationship with him when I watch it.

Anyways, the premise in these movies and IRL is absurd on so many levels. Like, if you want to hook up with someone and not date them that’s fine, but do you really need to solidify that agreement over a handshake? Is that not made abundantly clear when you guys only communicate via text between the hours of 12 and 4am? Do we have to get the lawyers involved too?

And an even stranger question: why in the world would two people like Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis be so adamant about keeping their relationship non-committal in the first place? They’re both extremely attractive, cool, rich and famous…clearly these guys should have just dated all along. Were they holding out for someone better? Good effing luck.

And finally, while I’m happy these two are married because I love them both, let’s not act like it’s a surprise that two awesome celebrities started hooking up and decided it was a good idea to continue doing so. This is not an excuse for any nicegirls to assume that Bobby from The League who’s “traveling for work” three weekends out of the month is going to suddenly have a revelation you guys are meant to be together and organize a flash mob in order to win over your heart. That would be tacky anyways. 


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