I don’t think anyone is more ready for Memorial Day than I am this year. Talk about global warming, it’s been negative twenty degrees outside since like practically last Labor Day and even my two new Moncler coats with Loro Piana linings couldn’t keep me warm. Memorial Day is all about saying goodbye to the grays, blacks, and scuffed Isabel Marants you wore in the rain even though they're not waterproof. Whatevs, onto the trends.
When it comes to Chanel, you do not want to be caught dead in canvas because everyone will know it's from last season. Nothing flaunts materialism and therefore betchiness more than wearing the big bold Chanel logo across your feet and getting them full of sand. Pick them up in the new two toned all leather version or netted mesh with leather cap toe. Even pick up a matching Chanel surfboard (price upon request…to Chanel, not me) to really make your
beach betchy entrance.
It sucks that the beach is comprised of mainly sand and stones but if we can all conquer the cobblestone territory of Meatpacking then we can certainly conquer this. The new caged Guisseppe Zanotti’s are what you need. Your feet are precious so why not protect them with this stunning work of art?
If ten years later Carrie Bradshaw could get her fairytale ending then she must have been doing something right by wasting all her money on Manolos. Although you would probably have been privately escorted out of any Manhattan club for wearing them for the past three years, the BB Manolo has come back this season and is hotter than ever. Pair the skinny heel pointed toe in a bright color with shorts or a cute dress and it’ll add inches to your legs.
Whether you’re headed to the Hamptons or up to the Cape, you can never go wrong with stripes for the daytime. This preppy statement is always on trend. This season the ALC Franzi striped dress sold at Intermix is bound to turn heads. This piece is effortlessly chic. Everyone always says not to wear stripes because they add fifteen pounds to your body but that's only for fat people. This dress does the impossible. The spaghetti straps will flatter your #168 SoulCycle arms and of course your #174 collarbone.
If you’re trying to pull off that hipster vibe and heading all the way East to the new “it spot” Montauk, then you will definitely want to grab a piece from LemLem. These hand woven cotton pieces made in Ethiopia are bound to reflect your worldliness and care for child laborers worldwide. The Adersh tunic is the perfect piece to throw on over your swimsuit and head to afternoon drinks or even wear as a day dress to shop. The neon detailing will have people eyeing you from across Newtown lane.
Finally we have the romper. I mean one season it’s all the rage and the next it’s like wear it and you can sit on the beach alone. This season this piece seems to be back in action and Rag and Bone is featuring it in a muted denim for the ultra summer kickoff look. The open back on this piece is perfect for your colorful Missioni bikini to shine through. Find it at Shopbop.
For your early summer evenings there is nothing better than picking up one of Intermix’s 20th anniversary capsule edition dresses. The OHNE TITEL is my favorite. The Jacquard jersey dress is tight fitting to show off all your recent dedication at the #118 gym and the graphic design will have people staring from Quogue to Montauk.
For those of us who prefer something a little more subtle you can never go wrong with silk shorts and a blouse. The Mason colorblock shorts are all the rage and top them off with a flowy Equipment blouse and you have it made. All found in the Intermix summer look book.
No outfit is complete without a pair of #60 sunglasses. This season mirrored trends are the shit. Now you can obviously be the typical type who goes with Raybans but if you dare to be different, I found this brand Westward Leaning. Celebrities everywhere are flocking to this LA based brand. I love them because the proceeds of your purchase go to a charity that corresponds to each lens color. I mean what's better than spending money to pretend you care about #171 philanthropy?
Now it’s time to talk about the perfect bag, and bright colors are in. I already picked up my nano Celine bag in bright orange. Another bag that's super cool this season is the Proenza Schouler ps11 bag. I mean we all know we aren’t going to class over the weekend (or like ever) but with its heavy metal detailing yet long feminine strap, there is a certain elegance and youth that flow together and makes this bag worth buying in every color.
Now to the most important part of any betch’s holiday weekend, the beach and pool. Here are three swimsuits I am loving right now for your first jump into summer.
You can never go wrong with a Missoni bikini. These bright interwoven colors will turn heads and make your tan pop. Another swimsuit line I am loving right now is by Alexander Wang. These monochrome suits with mesh panelings and a sports bra feel are perfect for those of us with a big chest. The placement of the mesh and low cut top will enhance your cleavage for all the bros out there. Finally, Zimmermann swimwear is doing some amazing things this season. The crazy floral prints are bound to keep you sizzling even with no clothes on! That was the lamest shit I've ever said.