It’s that time of year again:
when I whore myself out for festival tickets festival season. Summer is coming to a close *clutches bottle of wine like it’s my baby* but festival season is still going strong, TG. So while you plan out how you’ll deal with your denial that you have to go back to responsibilities and drinking indoors your festival schedule, I’ve gone ahead and done the dirty work for you. Well, somewhat. I’m not Mother Teresa over here. Although I did just get back from Italy so maybe I am?? *slaps self* Wait, no. Okay. What I’m SAYING is, I can’t plan out your entire festival tour 2017 because I don’t care know your life, but I CAN tell you one you definitely need to add on your list: The Meadows. And no, I’m not talking about how when you were in high school, you’d get drunk off vodka resembling paint thinner in a grassy field. I’m talking about one of New York’s best music festivals. taking place this year September 15-17. I sang The Meadows’ praises last year, and if I haven’t convinced you yet, I guess I’ll do this again. But really you need to start listening to me. I run the Dear Betch column; I give good advice. Anyway, here are four reasons you need to attend The Meadows Music & Arts Festival this year.
1. The Location
Allll youuu sucka emcees who can afford to live in Manhattan ain’t got nothing on Queens,
arguably the best borough solely because I live there. I’ll level with you all: is Citi Field a tropical island where you’ll camp on the beach? No. You know what it IS, though? Convenient af. That means you won’t get stuck in a four-hour line just to get in the festival and use up all your gas, you won’t get stranded on the side of the road because it rained and the shuttles stopped coming into the campgrounds, and you won’t have to trudge 45 minutes across a bridge while you’re coming down off molly good festival vibes. Those were all real world examples, BTW. You and your legs will be much happier come September 18th.
2. The Food
If you’re one of those
weirdos people who goes to festivals for the food, or you’re just a regular human who gets hungry periodically, The Meadows will not disappoint. They’ve got food from all the restaurants you want to go to during the week, but never can because the lines are too long—places like DO, Van Leeuwen Ice Cream, Twist and Smash’d, and more. For my fellow people-who-only-show-up-to-places-for-the-alcohol, there are going to be some delicious signature cocktails on-site that I’m sure will fuck you up (responsibly). Tito’s is featuring the Tito’s Harvest, made with Tito’s Signature Handmade vodka (say Tito’s again), apple cider and vanilla cream soda. My homies at Don Julio will be coming through with a Don Julio paloma, which is basically like a margarita only with grapefruit juice instead of lime juice/gross sour mix, and therefore much better. Finally, Bulleit Bourbon will have a Bulleit Berry Mule with lime juice, crème de fraise, simple syrup and ginger beer. Great, now I want a cocktail.
3. The FOMO
Need I remind you, last year’s Meadows was a pivotal moment in history?? Literally. The Meadows was the very show where Kanye dipped out with 20 minutes left because he found out about Kim’s robbery. I was there. Years from now, I will still be telling my children about it. IT WAS ICONIC. Who knows what cultural touchstones you’ll miss this year if you don’t go? Buy your tickets here to ensure you don’t miss out again.
4. The Lineup
Fucking duh. This is the only reason people go to festivals—don’t even come at me with that “street fashion” argument because I will literally slap you back into tenth grade (so like, one year back for you I’m assuming). This year’s lineup features…wait for it… Jay Z. Migos. 21 Savage. Gorillaz. (Wait, haven’t they like not performed in years?? Whoa.) FUTURE. (Can you tell I love Future? @ me.) M.I.A. BASSNECTAR. RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS. I COULD KEEP GOING BUT I DON’T HAVE THE FINGER STRENGTH BECAUSE I’M BASICALLY CONVULSING FROM EXCITEMENT AND I THINK MY CAPS LOCK BUTTON IS BROKEN.
Ok, phew. There we go. Get your Meadows tickets here. I’m telling you, the FOMO will be real. Don’t miss out this year.