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Love Is In The Air: Weekly Horoscopes August 12-16

The Sun and Venus are hanging in the same House this week, meaning love is in the air for just about everyone. Whether you’re in a relationship, single, monogamous, monogamish, poly, or whatever the f*ck else guys say on dating apps to hide the fact that they’re cheating, this is your week to shine.

Aries

Looks like it’s time for a late-in-the-game summer romance! Venus and the Sun are both chilling in your fifth house of love, meaning Cupid is literally obsessed with you right now. Single Aries should keep an eye out for a special someone to appear in your life this week (and maybe carry an extra outfit in your bag just in case). If you’re already in a relationship, leave some free time for an impromptu date night followed by sex that makes you go, “Oh right yeah, this is why we’re dating.”

Taurus

Taurus is ruled by Venus, so the fact that the Sun and Venus are in the same House right now, is pretty f*cking good for you. Pay particular attention to your home life! This could be a good time to reconnect with your roommate(s), planning a little movie night or a house dinner. Just plan some way to acknowledge that you live in a space together. This counts double if your roommate is a cat.

Gemini

Venus is making you feisty as f*ck this week Gemini, but try to keep yourself a little bit in check. Basically, you’re going to have to pick your battles. Like, maybe refrain from losing your sh*t on the barista who spelled your friend’s name, but by all means do go hard on the guy who thinks he has to touch your lower back to get by you in a bar. He deserves whatever is coming to him.

Cancer

Put the credit card down, Cancer! The Sun and Venus are colliding in your second house of money and things, meaning you’re going to be seriously resisting the urge to splurge. Be sure to a do a gut check before heading to checkout and maybe even take a peek at your checking balance. The holidays will be here sooner than you think, and it’s really not acceptable to gift people macaroni art as an adult.

Leo

With the Sun and Venus in your sign this week, you are basically the star of your own rom-com right now. The chances are super high for a meet-cute this week, so don’t be surprised if you find yourself accidentally spilling coffee on a handsome stranger at your local cafe, getting your leash tangled with a handsome stranger at the dog park, or getting saved by a handsome stranger right before you’re hit by a bus. The handsome stranger in these scenarios are all Hugh Grant, btw.

Virgo

Can you stop working for one second, Virgo? The Sun and Venus are hanging out in your twelfth house of imagination, so it’s time to pick up one of those adult coloring books and go to f*cking town. Seriously. Close out every tab with an Excel spreadsheet in it and schedule in some unstructured play time. It works great for my two-year-old nephew.

Libra

The Sun and Venus are in your eleventh house of group activities this week, Libra, meaning it’s time to plan a motherf*cking group activity! Start a group chat with the 2-3 friends you know won’t flake last minute (there are only ever 2-3), and find something fun to do locally. A fun group dinner can make you feel like it’s a weekend right in the middle of the week! (Just don’t drink like it is…)

Scorpio

Time to step into the spotlight, Scorpio. Venus and the Sun are working together to super-charge your career, meaning something you’ve been working on for a long time behind the scenes may suddenly come to the forefront. Keep your eyes on the prize and remember to dress for the job you want, not the fitness class you want to try to attend after work.

Sagittarius

The Sun and Venus have you thinking to the future this week, and I’m not talking about whether or not you’ll get Postmates for dinner tonight (you will). I’m talking about the wayyy future, like ten-year plan future. Now is a good time to revisit and revise some of your long-term goals, so they match up with your vision of the future. Then when you’re Forbes’ latest self-made billionaire-turned-Oscar-winner-turned-America’s-Next-Top-Model you can go back in your notebook and see where the dream all began.

Capricorn

The Sun and Venus are in your eighth house of seduction, meaning you are likely to be either the seducer or the seduced. Very exciting! Lean into this romantic resurgence for as long as you can, before you go back to thinking rose petals are corny and love songs don’t make sense.

Aquarius

The Sun and Venus are in your House of partnerships this week, meaning single Aquarians might find that cuffing season has come a bit early. Ask yourself, are you falling in love with this person at the bar because they actually seem cool, or are you falling in love with them because they are physically in the same room as you. If the only thing you have in common is “liking movies”, maybe wait before drafting up the wedding hashtag.

Pisces

“Tis a far, far better thing doing stuff for other people.” – Shakespeare/Cher Horowitz. With the Sun and Venus in your House of service, you’re going to be suddenly overwhelmed with a sense of caring for your fellow man. You might even find yourself not minding when your sig o snags the rest of your fries (even though they just said they didn’t want any fries).

Images: Giphy (12)

Alise Morales
Alise Morales
Alise Morales is a comedy writer and performer. She is the writer of the Betches Sup Newsletter and co-host of the Betches Sup Podcast.