A ‘Love Actually’ Reunion Is Happening So We Rewrote The 10 Most Outdated Quotes

Alert the group chat: there’s going to be a Love Actually reunion. And no, this isn’t like how the Sex and the City cast teases us with a new movie every couple of years, this is legit happening. The writers are finishing up the script and asking fans to contribute plot ideas—how about Sam and Joanna broke up in high school but matched on Tinder 15 years later??

Before you get too excited, it’s not going to be a full-length movie (thank God tbh—I couldn’t sit through three additional hours of that). Richard Curtis, the original screenwriter, said it’s going to be a 10-minute skit where we’ll get to see what all the characters are up to. So it’s like, a glorified fan fiction?

The reunion is for Red Nose Day, a televised event that raises money to help impoverished children. For betches studying abroad in England, the special will be broadcast in March—but the rest of us American betches will have to wait until May to see what happened to Jamie and Aurelia. You would think that in a time when hoverboards are real that we could figure out how to air a TV program in the United States and England simultaneously. Like, waiting to see if Matthew (RIP) and Mary got married in Downton Abbey was almost as tortuous as Edith’s entire story arc. But whatever, guess that’s what we get for declaring independence in 1776.

To keep you busy while we wait, here are the most ridiculous quotes from the original film and how they should be updated for the new special.

1. “Alone again…naturally.”

Alone Again

*Opens Tinder* 

2. “It’s so much more than a bag.”

Love Actually

It’s Franzia.

3. “Being Prime Minister, I could just have him murdered.”

Love Actually

Being President, I could just tweet a bunch of half-baked, unflattering opinions about him at 3 in the morning.

4. “No one is ever going to shag you if you cry all the time.”

Love Actually

No is ever going to shag you if you post Instagram quotes all the time.

5. “Let’s go get the shit kicked out of us by love.”

Love Actually

Let’s go answer that 2:13am “U up?” text.

6. “To me, you are perfect.”

To Me You Are Perfect

To me, you are hotter and younger than my brother’s wife.

7. “Which doll should we give Daisy’s little friend Emily—the one that looks like a transvestite, or the one that looks like a dominatrix?”

Love Actually

Which pic should I Insta? The one where Emily looks like a transvestite, or the one where Daisy looks like a dominatrix?

8. “Don’t buy drugs.”

Don't Buy Drugs

Make sure your insurance will cover Adderall.

9. “That’s great.”

That's Great

Set me on fire.

10. The Hugh Grant Dance Scene

Hugh Grant Dancing

To be clear, this does NOT need to be updated—the last thing this world needs is Hugh Grant attempting to dab—but this scene was amazing and needs to be included in the reunion no matter what.


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