The frequency of shitty weather, less sun, and lower temps is just another reminder that the inevitable is near—*dramatic sigh*—fall. Although betches love looking racially ambiguous with each passing day in the summer and day drinking until the end of time, fall is really when betches near and far rejoice and throw leaves in the air
for a Boomerang to celebrate the socially acceptable time of year to display their inner basicness loud and proud. Lines for Starbucks will soon become unbearable and if you’re careful awake, you may spot a pair of Uggs.
I mean, for god’s sake, Bath & Body Works already dropped their fall collection last week. I know this because I may have bought several candles already, but that’s besides the point. Stores have already begun pushing their summer collections to the back and bringing forth our basic bitch uniform: leggings, anything oversized, and little black boots. The little black boot is as necessary as a LBD or a fracket. Bible. While you’re scoping out next season’s buys, you’re going to want to add all of these LBB to your cart A-fucking-SAP.
The Troopa style is a fan fave for a reason. This OG combat style can be worn with just about anything, from your aforementioned oversized sweater and leggings to a trendy skater dress. They slip right on so they’re bound to be your new Uggs replacement. Take these to happy hour so you can stay both chic and comfortable AF. Plus, they’re so durable, I’m not exaggerating (for once) when I say they can easily last through several
hundred blackouts, aka years.
NGL, Doc Martens aren’t for everyone and they sure as hell don’t look good on everyone, either. But since they’re a 90s gem they’re naturally cool to wear again—if you can find the style that’s right for you without looking like you have Ronald McDonald feet. This simple black pair is perf for a modern take on the average combat boot with their lug heel and famous durability. Despite the heel height, the thick heels will get you through hours of walking and dipping it low at the club without a single complaint from the balls of your feet.
Honestly, suede ankle boots are the best fall shoes to happen to me (after over-the-knee boots) because I can wear them everyday and still get an unreal amount of compliments on them. I like a confidence boost, sue me. Suede is one of fall’s most
overused essential materials, so you’ll be starting off the most basic time of year on the right foot. These are v classy, yet versatile so you can make your co-workers jealous impress your co-workers with your shoe game and dress them up for an edgy look after work, too.
You heard it here first: Next season’s big shoe trend is called the “sock boot”. Not the boots Kim Kardashian wore that look like socks with a kitten heel, so calm down, I’m not that far behind. These are basically ankle boots that come up a little higher (like an ankle sock would, fucking duh) and are a bit tighter than other styles. So like, wearing socks + boots = these. Since street style queens Kendall and Gigi are making these a thing, these ankle boots have to be called something slightly different and absurd. Each heel is different but expect your Insta feed to be flooded with platform and kitten heel styles in the next few weeks.
The majority of your wardrobe is already as black as your soul, so instead of going for Taylor Momsen next fall, add a little bit of color with bright embroidery on your booties. Even if this is the only pop of color you wear with your black Lululemon leggings and black shirt, you’ll still turn heads as you walk by. To dress them up, wear with a simple skirt or your fave cropped pants.
On the days you feel like kicking people in the face with your sharpest heels—okay, nvm. Let me start over because that would be like, everyday. Let’s go with on every Monday you hate someone who breathes your air, these studded booties are your go-to to channel your inner Satan and don’t-fuck-with-me attitude. Wear these to the office or even with the lamest of outfits to make a v savage statement to anyone who dares to even look at you the wrong way.