Six Women Exposed A Fuckboy In A Real-Life ‘John Tucker Must Die’ Revenge Plot

By Betches Staff | August 8, 2017
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Listen up y’all, lend me your ears. Or eyes. Whatever. Lend me your organs by which you consume written information, for I am about to regale you with an epic revenge tale. Six female heroes who should be put into the Feminist Hall Of Fame (note to fellow womankind: create Feminist Hall of Fame) got revenge on a fuckboy in truly epic fashion. Sorry I had to use a vocabulary throwback from 2004, but really there is no other way to describe this. 

It all started when our homegirl-who-doesn’t-know-she’s-our-homegirl Lisette got set up on a bad date by her friends. As one does.

Lisette Pylant Tweets

Okay so like first of all, who are these so-called friends? Why would you set your girl up with some dude, only to text her “GET OUT” before the date even happens? WTF is wrong with you? I sincerely hope these “friends” got a thorough roasting in the group chat and their set-up privileges were revoked. But for the purposes of this story I’m glad that didn’t happen preemptively, otherwise we wouldn’t get this incredible tale.

Lisette Pylant Tweets

That’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see how it plays out for him.

Lisette Pylant Tweets

Now this is a girl you’d want to meet drunk in a bathroom. But wait, because it gets better. Grab some wine, grab some popcorn, it’s about to be lit.

Lisette Pylant Tweets

Someone should have told this dude this kind of shit only works on The Bachelor.

Lisette Pylant Tweets

Lisette Pylant

It’s beautiful. It’s majestic. It’s a tale as old as time: women uniting against the common fuckboy. Except wait. It’s not over. I fucking told you all it was lit, and I was not over-promising.

Lisette Pylant Tweets

Lisette Pylant Tweet

I think I speak for all of us when I say YASSS QUEENS.

Lisette Pylant

Lisette Pylant Tweets

Lisette Pylant

Wow. What a wild and crazy ride that was. I, like you, obviously have many questions, but I’ll stick with the most pressing ones. First, what’s this guy’s first and last name? Asking for a friend. who really books FIVE dates in one night? What was his end game if he liked one of the girls or one was down to smash? Second, how rich is this guy that he can front five dates in one single night, or is he that much of a fuckboy that he’d make all the girls pay? Finally, what was his reaction upon seeing this? I’m just waiting for the “It Was Just A Joke, You Women Are So Sensitive” follow-up article from this douchecanoe. If you or anyone you know has the answers to these questions, please let us know ASAP.