Bravo is pretty much a channel dedicated to being a betch. It’s just a bunch of rich women being hot and passive-aggressive with each other and just all in all living their best lives. But there’s no Bravolebrity betchier than Lisa Vanderpump. I mean, I wouldn’t dare be named after some mid-level Bravo betch. Fucking duh. And yes, Lisa Vanderbetch is obviously the real name my parents gave me at birth. Despite the fact that Lisa is a wealthy boss-ass bitch and pretty much runs the entire Bev Hills social scene, her real betchhood shines when she’s talking shit. So as an ode to the queen, here are her top 10 betchiest quotes of all time.
1. That Time Kyle Said Being LVP’s Friend Was Like Playing Chess And Instead Of Being Insulted She Took Being Smart And Powerful As A Compliment.
Me whenever the waiter asks if Diet Pepsi is okay and I say “no.”
2. Because What Betch Doesn’t Do This?
3. That Time Her Husband Did Something Nice And She Knew Exactly How To Say Thanks
Every betch on Valentine’s Day knows this feeling.
4. When She Hit Below The Belt So Taylor Would Finally STFU
Way harsh, Tai.
5. That Time She Read Stassi For Filth
6. Because Who Wants To Be At A Party Sober?
Me re: the water cooler at work.
7. When She Knew She Was Being Bitchy And DGAF
Also the appropriate response to “I wish I hadn’t eaten that donut.”
8. Because Fuckboys Aren’t Safe From LVP Shade Either
Just save this gif and keep it on hand the next time you get a spontaneous dick pick. You’re welcome.
9. Because These Wives Ain’t Loyal
Lisa Vanderpump has many a frenemy, making her extremely betchy.
10. That Time She Told Moderation To Go Fuck Itself
I’m gonna start saying that to my doctor. But first I need to buy a bigger wine glass.