Christmas is going to be here in like five minutes, and unsurprisingly, you don’t have your shit together. Unfortunately, you also can’t go out to the mall to holiday shop because you don’t feel like it. (That’s a totally reasonable excuse. Finding parking at a mall during the holidays is considered especially heinous.) Even if you did all of your shopping on time, there’s probably someone you don’t really like that much who bought you a present and now you have to give them a gift, too. Ugh. Holidays are so annoying. Anyway, here’s a bunch of shit you can buy on Amazon Prime so you don’t have to get off the couch, and it’ll show up at your apartment like, tomorrow.
1. An Uber Gift Card
Paying for Uber is the fucking worst. Give someone you love (or at least tolerate) the gift of 20 minutes of awkward conversation with a total stranger while a Sara Bareilles song plays quietly in the background.
2. Cards Against Humanity
Cards Against Humanity is perfect because it’s a “party game for horrible people,” and I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that you have at least one or two horrible people left on your list to shop for. If they already have the game, just buy them an expansion pack so they don’t have to keep using the same played-out Helen Keller jokes every time.
3. Ancestry DNA Test
I know this sounds like a questionable gift, but hear me out. Literally every parent is obsessed with ancestry. Real adults love to be like “I just discovered that I’m 18% German! How incredible!” It’s like, the safest bet for any parents, aunts, uncles, etc. that you still need to shop for. Plus, it’s part of Amazon’s Shop (RED) Save Lives program, so proceeds from your purchase will go to (RED), which is a very good cause, I’m sure.
4. A Dope Makeup Palette
Just stalk the person you’re looking to buy a gift for on Instagram and see which makeup artists or celebs they follow until you find someone that has a makeup palette. This will be easy, because this is 2017 and literally every person with a shit ton of Instagram followers has something you can buy. Then, see if that person has a product available on Prime. Again, this is 2017, and everything is available on Amazon Prime.
5. A Bougie Face Mask
Ridiculous face masks are always a great gift because they’re a) really fun, b) great content for your Snapchat story, and c) actually necessary because we all eat and drink like shit around the holidays and need all the help we can get.