We’re really going to need an upgrade on our health insurance plan, because there’s a 100% chance these Kardashian pregnancies are going to give us a heart attack. On Friday, rumors started pouring in that Kylie Jenner was in labor, but it was all a lie. Kylie Jenner reportedly did not have her baby, according to TMZ, but she instead gave us major trust issues. Fun!
It’s unclear how the rumors got started in the first place, but we have a feeling it starts with a “K” and ends with a “ris Jenner leaked something to the media.” No one ever really knows where these sources get their information, so it seems pretty likely that the family is just trying to stir up drama about the baby we still don’t have any actual confirmation of.
We’re still mentally recovering from Kylie’s absence from the Kardashian Christmas card, so we’d appreciate everyone’s support in this time of pain and fragility. For now, we’re really just clinging on to our factual knowledge that Khloé is really pregnant, and everything else is very triggering.
We’d try to end this post with a prediction on when Kylie might actually go into labor, but at this point it just feels like we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment. Kylie, if you’re reading this sweetie, send us some sort of message or smoke signal or something with a clue to figuring out your due date. Please? We promise we’ll buy every new lip kit, even if it’s fucking orange.