Kristen Stewart Wrote A Ridic Poem

Kristen Stewart is on the cover of Marie Claire's March issue and while that would usually lead to me not buying the magazine, there is apparently a poem written by K-Stew herself in the feature. Just when you thought her talented was limited to acting! 

The poem, written by Robert Frost K-Stew, is titled “My Heart Is A Wiffle Ball/Freedom Pole.” I was originally going to analyze it line-by-line for you but then I read it, and it is so ridiculous I cannot even begin to analyze. WHAT EVEN IS A FREEDOM POLE. Honestly this poem is trying so hard to be a poem that it's basically a parody of what a poem is, complete with words like 'strafe' and 'kismetly' and random midsentence capitalization of words like Whilst. Perhaps she really is funnier than originally thought. 

My Heart Is A Wiffle Ball/Freedom Pole

I reared digital moonlight
You read its clock, scrawled neon across that black
Kismetly … ubiquitously crest fallen
Thrown down to strafe your foothills
…I'll suck the bones pretty.
Your nature perforated the abrasive organ pumps
Spray painted everything known to man,
Stream rushed through and all out into
Something Whilst the crackling stare down sun snuck
Through our windows boarded up
He hit your flint face and it sparked.

And I bellowed and you parked
We reached Marfa.
One honest day up on this freedom pole
Devils not done digging
He's speaking in tongues all along the pan handle
And this pining erosion is getting dust in
My eyes
And I'm drunk on your morsels
And so I look down the line
Your every twitch hand drum salute
Salutes mine …

H/T: Jezebel


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