It Finally Happened: Kim K Is Getting Into Politics

Would you be surprised to hear that Kim Kardashian is going to the White House? No? That actually sounds about right given the reality-tv-political-crossover hell we’ve been living this past two years? Cool. Well, she is. And it’s actually for a good cause. Kim is working with none other than dynamic duo/white collar Bonnie and Clyde Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump to secure a pardon for Alice Marie Johnson, a woman currently serving a life sentence for a non-violent drug offense.

So yeah, while Kim’s husband spends his days googling “was Lincoln Republican?” from the sunken place’s only laptop, our girl Kim is out here taking on the prison industrial complex, trying to help unfairly imprisoned POC be released from jail. And let’s not forget Kourtney’s advocacy for makeup reform last week. Is this the future of America?

According to Mic, Kim has been working for months with Jarvanka on securing Johnson’s freedom, and her file is now on President Trump’s desk for review. So is this what we have to do to get the president’s attention? Send in other reality stars? Maybe we send in someone whose rep was so damaged on their season that they need to do a good deed to save themselves? Arie Luyendyk Jr. I’m looking at you.

Johnson was sentenced to live in prison without parole in 1997 on money laundering and drug conspiracy charges. These crimes were her first offense, and her case gained notoriety last year when Kim K tweeted about it with the unforgettably powerful words, “this is so unfair…”

TBH, I’m already looking forward to the KUWTK episode where Kim accepts her Nobel Peace Prize for getting Kim Jong Un to agree to “be chill.” They’ll call it the Kim-To-Kim summit, and the outfits will be amazing.


Alise Morales
Alise Morales
Alise Morales is a comedy writer and performer. She is the writer of the Betches Sup Newsletter and co-host of the Betches Sup Podcast.