Kim Kardashian Tweets Thirsty-Ass Nude Selfie

I know I’m getting old because I have trouble keeping up with all the “hep slang” used by “the youths.” For instance, until recently the term “thirst trap” was lost on me. Like, why the fuck we gotta have special names for desperate hoes who post pictures of their boobs on social media? It makes me smdh, which I know means “slap my darn hands.” But then Kim Kardashian put up this naked twitter post, and I was like “yep, that’s a thirsty fucking thirst trap, right there.”

“Lol nothing to wear (and also here are my boobs)!” Kim, your first “business” was organizing closets for rich people, so I doubt very seriously you literally have nothing to wear and/or are unable to find anything. Like, people way poorer than you, even homeless people, don’t walk around naked all the time. What’s your excuse?

This is your daily reminder that all of the Kardashian/Jenner fame is solely and entirely the result of people wanting to fuck Kim Kardashian. There is literally no other appeal. People like to write contrarian articles along the lines of “you may not like Kim Kardashian, but you have to respect her as a businesswoman,” which is complete bullshit. It doesn’t require a lot of business savvy to sign a contract that pays you whenever people buy your fucktape. The TV shows, the fragrance lines, the iPhone games, the famous people she’s dated, all of that goes away when the world stops wanting to see her naked. That’s why, despite being 35, beautiful, successful beyond anyone’s dreams and a mother of two, Kim Kardashian still has to occasionally tweet pictures of her boobs.

Kim Kardashian is hot. I would have sex with her if given the opportunity. But there’s no excuse for her being thirstier than someone stranded in the Sahara.