Kim & Kanye Engaged After Ensuring Relationship Could Not Go South With Daughter’s Baby Name

In what was I'm sure at least in part an effort to annoy Khloe in the midst of her entire life falling apart, Kanye West proposed to Kim Kardashian yesterday on her 33rd birthday in AT&T Park (just in case there were rumors that their engagement had no corporate sponsors). Unsurprisingly, E!, known in most circles as 'The Karadashian Family Bitch' was one the one to break the most exciting and highly anticipated news since the fall of the Berlin Wall.

Since the song “Young and Beautiful” by Lana Del Ray was playing while he popped the question, we can only assume that Kanye was waiting for the perfect moment Kim to stop looking like a huge pregnant cow in order to ask for her hand.. Hopefully the third time's the charm for Kim, who is lucky enough to find one of the only men in the world who's a big enough asshole that he would make his girlfriend's birthday about him. 


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