Kim And Kanye's Surrogate Is Pregnant And You Won't Believe How Rich She's Getting

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have already provided the world with two literally gorgeous children, but they’re not stopping anytime soon. Yep, that’s right, another Kardashian-West baby is on the way! According to Us Weekly, Kim and Kanye began looking for a surrogate (I volunteer as tribute!!!) back in June, and she is now three months pregnant, meaning 1) Kimye is literally magic because that math does not add up and 2) that we should have a new celebrity baby who’s name we can low-key shade by January 2018. While any addition to the Kardashian family is obviously welcome news, this is particularly sweet for those of us who follow Kim K’s every move are familiar with Kim’s pregnancy struggles. After the birth of Saint, Kim was told by doctors another pregnancy would not be safe, which is what prompted the couple to seek out a surrogate. Awww. Isn’t it sweet what two people who are both in love and incredibly rich can accomplish? I’m literally crying. This is such joyous news. I can’t wait for another 9 months of trying to guess what random-ass word they’ll name baby #3 after and sharing memes depicting Kim and Bey in a pregnancy war. Those are quite literally two of my favorite things.

So, what does being Kim Kardashian’s surrogate entail, apart from being responsible for carrying a genetically perfect life form around inside you for nine months? Here’s what we know: the surrogate is a San Diego mom in her late 20s who they found through an agency. In return for carrying their baby, the surrogate will receive an allowance of $4,500 per month for 10 months (that’s one bonus month!!) for a total of $45,000.

Goddamn healthcare is expensive. It’s almost as if like, the government should help average families who aren’t the two most famous people on Earth pay for medical services or — you know what, I’m not even getting into that right now. Call your senators.

In the event that she’s pregnant with more than one Kardashian-West, Kimye will pay $5k for each additional child, plus a $68,850 deposit they’ve already sent to the agency. Brb. Adding this to my ongoing list of reasons why I should sell my body to science. 

The baby is due in January 2018, and it is already the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. 

Alise Morales
Alise Morales
Alise Morales is a comedy writer and performer. She is the writer of the Betches Sup Newsletter and co-host of the Betches Sup Podcast.