Prince William and Kate Middleton are coming to New York City for a two day visit to remind America why it was dumb as shit to declare independence. Prince George isn't coming, which is bullshit because his resting betch face was made for New York City (see Blair Waldorf). Here's a list of their events and why they'll be amazing as fuck.
– A shit ton of charity events (help me, I'm poor)
– September 11th Memorial
– American Friends of the Royal Foundation aka monarchists
– The World Bank to discuss illegal animal trade (so Kate probs won't be wearing a fur coat on this trip)
– An alum event for University of St. Andrews at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, please Jesus have Kate eat yogurt on the steps for just one minute.
– The Brooklyn Nets vs. Cleveland Cavs basketball game. Yeah so this is random as fuck. Will it be awkward for Kate and Will considering King Lebron James will be there too? Beyonce and Jay-Z literally have to be there since Jay-Z used to fucking own the team before he sold it to some Russian member of the lucky sperm club. British Royal Couple meets American Royal Couple – world implodes.