Yesterday we were granted approximately 15 minutes to celebrate a victorious primary election night for Democrats before it was announced there’d be a third season of The Handmaid’s Tale and the American public would be starring in it. Justice Anthony Kennedy announced he plans to retire this summer from the Supreme Court, which means that Trump gets to further stick his grimy little fingers in and shape the highest court in the land.
BREAKING: Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy says he’s retiring; Trump to get 2nd high-court pick .
— The Associated Press (@AP) June 27, 2018
Usually, we’d be like, “don’t freak, here’s why” but to really commemorate how terrible this all is, here’s why you should be calling your doctor for some backup xanax (and Plan B, but we’ll get into that.)
Roe v. Wade Is F*cked
That might sound a little extreme but we are trying to really elevate how dire this sitch is. Roe V Wade, the landmark case that made abortion legal in this country, is at great risk of being overturned. Even if it is not overturned, conservative states will take the opportunity to impose harsher and more restrictive abortion laws, making them incredibly difficult to get, knowing the Supreme Court will uphold them.
With Kennedy retiring, the right to access abortion in this country is on the line. #SaveSCOTUS pic.twitter.com/IkIg07EtIr
— Planned Parenthood Action (@PPact) June 27, 2018
Pro-life advocates are already flexing their terrible PSA video muscles in hopes of making women’s lives harder everywhere.
No More Fun Gay Weddings?
You know who doesn’t make you wear terrible bridesmaids outfits to their weddings? Chic af gay couples. You know who made it possible for those gay couples to have a wedding? Anthony Kennedy. Here was the opinion he wrote when he cast the deciding vote in legalizing gay marriage:
“No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.”
Feels insane that a man capable of writing something so touching has decided to royally fuck us by allowing Trump to replace him, but alas. While it is less likely the right to gay marriage will be overturned, a conservative court is more side with institutions discriminating against people based on their sexual orientation.
Au Revoir, Affirmative Action
Kennedy often sided with the libs on affirmative action so with him retiring permanently to a coastal town in Florida, we’re going to have a lot less protections for race, gender, and ethnicity based admissions at public institutions. Politico had this to say about an upcoming case that’ll be seen before the Supreme Court.
“Anti-affirmative-action activists are pursuing a lawsuit against Harvard, arguing that the elite school discriminates against Asian-Americans in order to meet certain goals for the racial makeup of its student body. If that case gets before a Supreme Court where Kennedy is swapped for a conservative successor, affirmative action could be dead not only at public schools but also at private ones whose practices have largely escaped legal scrutiny until now.”
Also, FWIW, white women are the number one beneficiaries of affirmative action policies.
A Lot More Alone Time
Apologies if these headlines are crass, we’re just completely freaking out! While Kennedy usually sided with conservatives on the death penalty, he occasionally made decisions that parted from them like not giving the death penalty to children under 18 (seems legit) as well as being anti-solitary confinement. I have a hard time being alone with my own thoughts and I am a blogger. Imagine the mental duress if I had committed an egregious crime. Kennedy understood this and in his opinion asked that the court consider “the human toll wrought by extended terms of isolation.”
Trump Gets To Pick
Anytime Trump is given a choice, it seems he always chooses completely wrong. But this isn’t like “Trump is choosing a bad lumpy suit to wear” type of choice. This is a choice that will shape how our nation is governed for at least the next fifty years. Trump gets to choose the next Supreme Court justice and in case you were wondering who he was thinking, the psycho already has a list. No, this isn’t a list he made yesterday but one he made in November of last year because he was presumably bored? Is this something most presidents do? Absolutely not. Is Trump most presidents? Why bother asking at this point.
Trump is almost certainly going to fill this position with an ultra-conservative person who will try to overturn the things we listed above. This is scary but if Democrats can get their shit together and hold Republicans’ feet to the flames, they might be able to avoid the absolute worst. Chuck Schumer yesterday reminded the government that the republican’s delayed confirming Merrick Garland because of an upcoming election (following Antonin Scalia’s sudden death) and that this should be the case now as well.
In 2016, Senate Republicans said that the American people deserve an opportunity to speak on Supreme Court nominees.
Now that Justice Kennedy is retiring and @realDonaldTrump is president, will they silence them? pic.twitter.com/nT0wtgET6O
— Chuck Schumer (@SenSchumer) June 27, 2018
Hopefully the Dems will buck up and not fuck this one up. If they can’t, well, Plan B can last up to four years in its original packaging, ladies.
Heads up, you need to keep up with the news. It’s not cute anymore. That’s why we’ve created a 5x weekly newsletter called The ‘Sup that will explain all the news of the week in a hilarious af way. Because if we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying. Sign up for The ‘Sup now!