Everyone's Least Favorite 'Bachelorette' Winner Is On Hinge Now

One of the last times we really heard about Josh Murray was because he was breaking up with baby-voiced Amanda after meeting and subsequently getting engaged on Bachelor in Paradise. Before that, he made headlines for being publicly ripped to shreds for being a manipulative bastard by another former Bachelorette Andi Dorfman in her tell-all book.

Now, Josh is back at it again on the dating scene and apparently since the Bachelor franchise hasn’t worked out for him, he’s on the app circuit now.

Friend of Betches Jared Freid got the, uh, opportunity (if you want to call it that) to interview Murray about what he’s really looking for in a potential girlfriend. So ladies, if you want an (alleged) emotionally abusive asshole, listen up!! 

Murray tells Freid the first thing he looks for in a girl is that she cares about he family. I mean, he did fall for Amanda and her two adorably sweet daughters, so I don’t think this is a total lie. He probably really does like families or some shit. I think I read somewhere—or did I just watch it in a Criminal Minds episode? *Shrug*—that many serial killers and narcissists have loving families and are prominent members of their communities, so this detail checks out for sure.

Seems Legit

Next, he says putting a dog or animal in your profile picture is a great way to get him to swipe right—er, whatever you do on Hinge to get a match. Can we just assume he means a dog or a bunny or something silly and cute? No one wants to see your nine cats walking around on your kitchen counters, Katie. That’s what we in the dating biz call a “turn-off”.

Josh assumes he’s still single because he’s so picky. Okay, that’s like, a page out of the single betch playbook. If you just say that you’re really picky and want to wait for the “right person” it throws your friends and family the hounds off the scent that you’re actually a total psycho and no one wants to date your sketchy ass. Just saying.

The dating and successful relationship expert then goes on to explain that it’s not a great idea to post a lot of party pics on your dating profile—you wouldn’t want your future husband to see you as a drunk sex-fiend when you are trying to come across as wifey material. Besides, everyone knows your best bet is to go on national television and act like a drunk sex fiend—that’s the path to marriage.

Josh Murray

Are we actually convinced that this guy with a shit ton of Instagram followers needs dating apps to find a woman? Eh, although the Bachelor franchise wasn’t too kind to him in the end, not really. But if you happen to see Josh Murray out and about in the game, please send us screenshots because we’re dying to see that profile pic and what he uses an opening line. K thanks.