JK Rowling Doesn’t Understand Why Girls Love Douchebag Draco Malfoy

In case the weird people you went to high school with haven't flooded your newsfeed about the new Harry Potter stories, breaking news: JK Rowling doesn't understand why girls like Draco Malfoy. She's confused because he's basically a raging douchelord, but girls everywhere are in love with him. We the betches decided to explain it to her:

1. He's a member of the lucky sperm club. His dad like invented toaster strudel or some shit so they're rich as fuck. They basically live in the Downton Abbey house.

2. He's a total SAB. Tbh, he and Hermione were definitely hooking up, but didn't want anybody to know because he's like the John Tucker of Hogwarts.

3. He's an athlete. I still don't really get Quidditch, except that all of the hot characters play it in the movies.

4. Tom Felton



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