Maybe one Monday I’ll wake up and Google Vanderpump Rules
like I always do and there will be absolutely nothing new to report, but today is not that day. And I know what you’re thinking… WTF else could be going on out there in that sexy unique restaurant? Stassi and Patrick have already broken up again. Mr. and Mrs. Bubba’s fucked up engagement has turned into an equally as fucked up marriage. Lala is friends with Stassi & Co. How many more storylines can there be?!?!?! Well at least one, because Jax legit came for Scheana and her boyfriend Robert Valletta in the latest issue of Life & Style magazine. Oh shit here we go.
This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone because if Jax doesn’t stir up shit with someone new at least once a season, I think he might physically implode and turn into a fucking Pumptini. And sure, Life & Style isn’t exactly the beacon of factual journalism but this shit came from Jax himself and not some sketchy-ass “source,” so this is about as legit as we’re gonna get. Anyway, Jax went on to say that Scheana was “fresh off of a divorce” and “the ink was barely dry” on her divorce papers. Way harsh, Tai, but not as harsh as the “I have milk with a longer shelf life with that marriage” quote. Classic. He also gave Scheana shit for “flaunting” her relationship on social media which is RICH given that he and his girlfriend have their own show whose whole purpose is flaunting their relationship. SMH.
But how does Brittany feel about this? Wasn’t she just in Atlanta on vacay with Scheana at my favorite bar on the one Saturday I wasn’t fucking there? Yes. Yes she was. And they’re still besties. Brittany even came out saying she disagrees with her
fuckboy boyfriend about the whole thing and is just glad Scheana is happy. Bleh, such a nice girl thing to say. So typical. No word on what Scheana thinks about all of this but I’m sure we’ll see her cry about it and play the victim on the upcoming season of VPR.