It is a dark day for Vanderpump Rules fans. The day we knew was already here, but had yet to be made official, but we hoped against hope somehow would never come to pass, has arrived. Jax and Brittany are engaged, news that should have been met with excitement, but instead was met with a resigned sigh. So this is happening. It’s real. This is the life they are choosing for themselves. Ugh.
The news that Jax and Brittany are engaged broke on Instagram, where the two separately announced their engagement with the same picture. And what would I be if I didn’t break down, in excruciating detail, every component of each engagement announcement? Not Sgt. Olivia Betchson, that’s who. So *cracks Creative Writing knuckles* get your tinfoil hats ready, because I’m about to put my degree to use and perform a close reading of Jax and Brittany’s engagement Instagrams.
Let’s start with Brittany’s, since it’s pretty much what you’d expect from an engagement announcement.
Omg omg!!!!!!!! We are ENGAGED! What a way to start our summer and season 7!! I am so happy, so in love, and so beyond excited for this next chapter of our lives! I can’t wait for all of you to see how he proposed! I am the happiest girl ever right now. 💝👑 love can win 💝💝 #PumpRules thank you @kylechandesign this ring is gorgeous!!!
“Omg omg!!!!!!!! We are ENGAGED! What a way to start our summer and season 7!! I am so happy, so in love and so beyond excited for this next chapter of our lives!” So clearly Brittany is excited—she adds, “I am the happiest girl ever right now.” Aside from the misguided “love can win” shout-out (isn’t that more of a LGBTQ Pride slogan??) it’s clear Brittany is excited to be engaged, and she’s excited for it all to be captured on TV. What’s interesting, though, is she doesn’t say she’s excited to be engaged TO JAX. Just to be engaged. Sure, it’s obviously implied, since the picture they chose to announce the engagement with is a photo mainly of Jax (Jax’s narcissism wins out again), but Brittany literally does not mention Jax AT ALL in this post. No “I’m marrying my best friend”. Not even a “#cantwaittomarrythisman”. She shouts out the show more than the shouts out her own fiancé. It’s interesting.
Now let’s move on to Jax.
She said yes!!! I can’t wait for y’all to see how this happened next season!!! I am marrying the woman of my dreams and I could not be happier!! 💍 make sure y’all tune in season 7 to see how this unfolded. (Swipe left) my amazing friend/brother @kylechandesign knocked it out of the park on this ring. I told him a few details but I trusted him and as you can see he came through above and beyond. When I decided to do this he was the only one I wanted to design Brittany’s ring and this is why.. flawless Kyle absolutely flawless. Also thank you Margaret owner of @Neptunesnet for allowing me to make this special day possible at one of our favorite spots to eat in Malibu.
Jax’s engagement announcement opens, obviously, with the classic “She said yes!!!” (as if Brittany would have said anything else). Then we get a message to tune in next season, followed by, “I am marrying the woman of my dreams and I could not be happier!!” followed by ANOTHER call-to-action to get us to tune in season 7. Like, ok. We get it, we’ll watch. We know you waited until summer to pop the question for a reason, and it’s not the weather. Then the rest of Jax’s post is dedicated to the guy who designed the ring. Isn’t that weird? Jax writes about Kyle with more emotion than he does his own fiancée. Seriously, he doesn’t even say anything personal about Brittany. Nothing about how she’s stood by him, nothing about how loyal she is, just the cliché “I am marrying the woman of my dreams.” I mean, at least Brittany does get a mention in Jax’s engagement announcement, but still. Maybe it’s just my under-utilized Creative Writing degree talking, but I feel both their posts are very telling.
Here, we have two people who appear more excited to have an engagement ring—and for that engagement and subsequent wedding to play out on film—than they are to actually be engaged to each other. Should we have expected any different? No. Not really. That, or we have two people who aren’t the best at expressing their feelings through the written word. Perhaps a little bit of both.
Congrats to Jax and Brittany on their engagement, and I actually am eager to see how Jax popped the question on SEASON 7, as I’ve so gently been reminded. That’s all I’ve got for today.