Is Wearing a Push Up Bra False Advertising? Ask a Pro

Dear Head Pro,

I'm confused where I stand with this guy, which obviously tells me I'm just his cum dumpster, but I'm just confused as to why he had to create feelings to make sure he got into my pants.  I don't understand why, he wasn't just honest in the first place and was like “uh, I just want to fuck” because I would have totally been fine with that deal and still fucked him.  But alas, no. He told me all sorts of shit like my smile is what caught him and reeled him in, and then he noticed that I wrinkle my nose right before I laugh and he thought that was the “cutest thing” he had ever seen.  And that I walk and talk with this confidence about me that is so “goddamn sexy” and blah blah blah.  Honestly, his confession was a bit too Sleepless in Seattle for me, but then I obviously started thinking about him more and more. And then I was like yeah, maybe I like him too, and stupidly, got feelings for the chap.  Now, after I fucked him, I was going to leave his house and he pulled me down into his bed and made me stay the night and cuddled me the whole night (barf, I know commenters).  Well, now that we have done that he won't text me, at all. I sent him one text to test the waters, and they were fucking frigid. No response, and he has that stupid thing on his phone where you can read when he read the text (extra fucking slap in the face). So my question to you is, if he just wanted to have sex, why not just have sex? Why go the extra fucking mile and make me feel wanted and then turn it like I'm being weird that I magically got feelings for the prick?


Obviously Confused and Fucking Pissed

Is this your first time seeing or speaking to a male? Most girls aren’t too receptive to the whole “Hey, I’d like to fuck you. Let’s go do some fucking” approach, so bros learn to say what needs to be said in order to seal the deal. And he wasn’t exactly “going the extra mile”; it was like three sentences worth of bullshit. Also, maybe don’t email me from your work account. Can’t be a good idea.

Hi Head Pro,

So I have two questions about two different situations:

1. I was approached by a guy, Greg. We seemingly hit it off and had an intense conversation about our political beliefs and our aspirations but then his friend Ben approached us and all of a sudden Greg  backed off. I have got to ask, was I passed off? I may be a Delusional dater but am I totally off base about Greg being kind of interested in me or was he just buttering me up or his friend Ben?

2. I was with my friend and this guy told us that my friend “lacked some swagger” and I “lacked A LOT of 'swagger'” I asked him what he meant but he told me it was “guy code” and he couldn't tell but when I asked him again he said he was just kidding… Was he really kidding or did he mean what I said about me having no 'swagger'? And while I'm at it, what is “swagger” according to a guy?


Completely Confused

1. Greg backed off because a discussion about your scat porn fetish would have made for a better first conversation than a discussion about your “political beliefs and aspirations.”

2. I don’t know what the fuck “swagger” is, but it’s definitely not “guy code.” I know that Justin Bieber employs a “swagger coach”, so that should tell you all you need to know. With that as a baseline, my best estimate is that “swagger” is a formula for looking like a middle-aged lesbian and milking your relative lack of talent well past its expiration date.

Head Pro,

Sooo I just got out of a long relationship and I'm not looking for anything serious. Basically I'm on the rebound and am DTF this one particular bro I used to work with and I know the feeling is mutual because he's told me. Since I've been out of the game for 2 years I am not sure how to go about getting into the pants of this bro. Side note: I am a somewhat classy betch and would rather not text him saying we should have casual sex. Help please.


DTF Betch

Ugh why is this so hard? Just text him one day and be like “Man, what a shitty day. I need a drink. Interested?” If the guy’s any kind of bro, he’ll immediately know what’s up and pack some condoms, do some pushups, and probably “clean the pipes” before he meets you.

Dear Head Pro,
So I've always been naturally thin, to the point where I can legit eat anything and everything and never gain any weight. So obviously, I was never expecting to have huge boobs….but I legit dont have boobs at in I'm a AA cup.

Now, I've come to terms with that and dgaf but recently I heard my bro friends talking about push-up bras and how they're 'false advertising'. So my question is this: Would a guy I plan to hook up with for the first time prefer I wore a bra where my breast size (or lack there of) was obvious? Do guys even rly give a shit/get disappointing if a girl takes off her bra and shes much smaller than she originally seemed?


Betch Minus Breasts

Legit question, and the legit answer is that no one who matters gives a fuck. The kind of person who says pushup bras are “false advertising” sounds like the same kind of wop-guido who who buys his girlfriend Coach bags because “they’re like, really nice bro” and brags about the original price of the “slightly imperfect” Perry Ellis pants he bought on sale at TJ Maxx. The truth is, there’s a reason why the women with the nicest boobs get paid good money to display them. Most boobs are kind of weird looking. This (not sexual but still very NSFW/school) site is a bunch of images of what doctors consider perfectly normal, healthy boobs. Not exactly playboy material, eh? In short, what people think boobs should look like and what they actually look like are two different things, no one cares, and wear whatever bra makes you feel hot.

Got a question only the Head Pro can answer and then make you feel bad about asking? Email him here and don't forget to follow him on twitter @betchesheadpro


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