Let’s face it, the standard we set for male etiquette these days is just abysmal. “OMG he responded to your text within 48 hours?? Put a ring on it!” Aside from allowing fuckboys to rule the land, this has led to some other unintended side effects as well. Namely, when an attractive guy exhibits any form of civility, we immediately start to question his sexuality.
To clarify, this is not to justify someone who is quite obviously a beard. If you guys haven’t made out yet by date three and he wears jeggings, you need to get with the program. What I’m talking about is polite, non-sexual behavior that is so uncommon among straight guys that it’s genuinely confusing. Here are some examples of this kind of ambiguity, along with my expert forecast of how likely this dude is to be gay: