Idiot Teenager Quits Job Over Ugly Shorts

17 year olds are morons; that goes without saying. Usually, their idiocy is contained to applying to colleges too expensive to offer a return on the investment, listening to OAR or trying to make kewl jumps on their BMX bikes. But if you’re this particular 17 year old, who Buzzfeed refers to as a “feminist blogger” (which, don’t even get me started), you get creative: You show up at work wearing clothes sold by your employer that aren’t part of the dress code, and then you throw a hissy fit and quit when they tell you they’re not part of the dress code.

Have you ever seen an employee working in a department store wearing shorts? Me neither! JCPenney is an old company, loved by grandmas the world over, but I bet not everything they sell in the “career” section makes the cut for the company dress code. Can you buy a stapler there, stick it in your butt, and call that a work outfit because it’s in the “career” section? I mean, you should be able to, but I doubt it.

Speaking of JCPenney being an old company, you can bet your tits that they have an extensive employee manual. I say that because she claims her orientation manager never mentioned shorts in the dress code discussion, but that doesn’t matter. The whole reason employers give you those thick-ass manuals that you never read is precisely so that they can cover their asses if they want to fire you. JCPenney, for their part, says that shorts are forbidden in the dress code.

Speaking with the Huffington Post, the disgruntled former retail worker said “Unfair dress codes affect millions of women, and it’s time to speak out against them.” This is not a feminist issue. If you don’t like that the company doesn’t allow shorts, even their own, then get a job in corporate HR and change the dress code. She claims that male coworkers have shown up in denim and undershirts and weren’t sent home, but I’m guessing that she’s leaving out the part where they changed before clocking in. I say that because if I were in JCPenney and Cool Hand Luke tried to sell me pleated khakis, I’d call security.

Idiot 17 year olds, don’t quit a job over something dumb like this. Here are several different, better ways that conversation could have gone:

JCPenney: You can’t wear shorts on the clock, please go home.
You: But I bought them here!
JCPenney: We sell bikinis here too, do you think you can work in one of those?
You: Good point. See you tomorrow.

JCPenney: You can’t wear shorts on the clock, please go home.
You: If so and so can cover for me, can I run home and change and come back?
JCPenney: Good idea, sure. Please hurry.

JCPenney: You can’t wear shorts on the clock, please go home.
You: Since I bought these here, can I grab an approved skirt of the and exchange them after my shift?
JCPenney: That’s a great idea, please do that.

See? Easy peasy.


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