How to Throw A Hotel Party

Betches love parties but one type of party deserves its own category: the hotel party. Like R Kelly taught us, after the party it’s the hotel lobby, but we’re not just talking about after prom here.

Throwing a hotel party is the easiest way for a betch to throw a party without doing any work. Clean-up service is built into the room, and room service is like bottle service without the tight spaces. Betches might throw a hotel party for a non-important birthday like your 22nd, 19th, or 24th, or just for events like New Year’s Eve and Halloween when you want to avoid hanging out with bridge and tunnel tourists everywhere you go.

When throwing a hotel party, guest list and location is all that really matters. If you’re traveling or like in Vegas, you’re going to be partying with your crew for the most part. If you’re staying local, then chances are you’ve already partied at every club/rooftop bar at the trendy hotels, so picking one you actually want to stay at shouldn’t be hard.

Often times, a boutique hotel will have guest cards for the elevator, and they’ll discourage you from allowing more than the allotted number of guests into your room. Obviously you tell them you lost your key, so you get an extra. Then you can passback that key without having to call down every time to let up guests. It’s better to beg for forgiveness than ask for persmission, and chances are other than the concierge, nobody in the hotel gives a fuck that you’re having a party.  But if you’re really worried, then pick a place with a young clientele so none of the other guests complain about noise.

If you run out of booze, you can literally just order more by calling the front desk, so hotel parties are great in the dead of winter when you’re in the mood for a house party but not for walking in the snow. 

Throwing a party in the hotel also means you and your guests have access to any amenities at the hotel itself.  So, your hotel party could be both a pool party and a rooftop party. Plus, at the end of the night, you can just take an elevator and go back into your room. Safest ride home ever. And in the morning, you can check out and get brunch. No clean-up needed.


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