To kickstart our brand new Nutrition section, we're going to tell you betches how to not be the girl who gets off the plane to Spring Break with fifteen extra pounds that you couldn't get off from when you stuffed your fat fucking face during winter break. Our hot dietician friends at Skinny Soiree, a nutrition party consulting company, are here to help you learn how to maintain a normal weight despite attending a massive amount of holiday parties because you're just so popular.
We here at Skinny Soiree are CONSTANTLY throwing parties – and as we like to say, SKINNIFYING them! We want to help ALL our betches out there do the same. After all, it would totally suck not to be able to fit into the sick winterwear you got over the holidays, right? Not to mention, the bikini you’ll be rocking in Miami over New Years. Follow our Skinny Rules to Rock this holiday soiree season and we promise, you’ll have nothing to bitch about in the body department. (note: this doesn't guarantee the dud won't be up your ass trying to latch on to your New Years plans but that's a different problem than we can help you with.)
1. Bringing a Clutch is a MUST
Have your clutch stocked with sugar-free gum in hand and take advantage of #1 talking shit with your family and friends. It’s alot harder to eat excessively when your hands and mouth are out of commish. What about your other hand? It’s holding a skinny cocktail, of course! Skinny cocktails include: champagne (90 calories per glass), bellinis (50 calories per glass – the high AO berries displace room for alcohol and have a healthy dose of fiber which helps rid your body of calories, toxins and keeps you FULL), wine spritzers (80 calories per glass), bloody marys (110 calories per glass). Click here for more skinny cocktail recipes. Keep in mind, you don’t have to actually drink it, but it prevents you from being harassed to eat or drink in general. Sipping your drink slowly until dinner will also help you bypass any tempting apps.
Wearing tight clothes makes you feel fuller faster – that’s why we ALWAYS rock either skinny jeans or belts to parties; they totally do the trick by preventing you from getting to the point where you feel Thanksgiving full aka how you feel when you majorly overeat. If you’re not the best at being a mindful eater, tight clothes are an external reminder of your body’s internal hunger and fullness cues. And when you’re eating, SIT! We often pay less attention to how much we eat when we’re standing or walking around. Use these other tips and tricks to prevent overeating.
3. Stop Eating Fattening Shit
Eat This Shit Instead:
Skinny eggnog latte
Low carb chocolate chip cookies
OR stick to our FREE FOOD list of appetizer and meal ideas where everything is allowed
4. Get the Gift of Not Being Enormous
Fit-friendly stocking stuffers are all the rage these days. When you treat your friends and family with fitty gadgets, you’ll be more likely to join them and get moving yourself.
A few of our very favorite skinny stuffers include:
Fitbit – this tiny gadget tracks every move you make and keeps track of how active you are, how much food you’ve earned and lets you check in with friends to help keep you on track.
Workout headbands – we can never get enough of this classic workout accessory
Click here for more of our favorite healthy holiday stocking stuffers.
5. #118 Work Out, Fucking Duh
Working out allows a little more wiggle room on your party plates so make sure to hit the gym before every event. The best part is, if you’re doing a high intensity workout, the after-burn will last far longer than the splurge does. AND if you follow rules one through four, you’ll be torching fat while everyone around you is packing it on. Try doing a 20-minute interval circuit on every party day. Push yourself as hard as you can; you’ll feel empowered, energized and instantly leaner in your cocktail dress.