How To Make Delicious Carrot Cookies

Betches are not creatures of moderation. Drinking to the point of blackout and shopping past the point of poorness are facts of nature – as is the ability to forgo shitty food in the quest for healthy or calorie-free fare.

Cravings, like shitty hookups, happen. But substituting veggies for sugar and butter are at least half the battle. Make a bread with zucchini instead of sugary bananas or make cookies out of carrots so you can make fun of fat people.


  • 1 cup instant oats
  • ¾ cup all-purpose flour
  • 1 ½ tsp baking powder
  • 2 tsp cinnamon
  • 2 tbsp coconut oil
  • 1 egg
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • ½ cup honey
  • 2 tbsps orange zest
  • ¾ cup carrots, grated
  • Pinch of salt

Preheat the oven to 325 F and spray a baking sheet with non-stick spray. In a medium bowl, stir together the oats, flour, baking powder, cinnamon, and salt. In another bowl, mix together the coconut oil, egg, vanilla, honey, and orange zest. Add the wet to the dry ingredients and stir until mixed together. Fold in the carrots GENTLY and then chill the dough in a fridge for like 15-20 mins.

Drop the cookies by rounded tablespoon onto the baking sheet – flattening slightly if they’re like, really cold. Bake for 15 minutes or until golden.

Now you can indulge SLIGHTLY while knowing that your bikini will still fucking fit.


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