It’s easy to see why tanning is an addiction for betches. For three months out of the year (or, six if you’re a rich bitch who vacations in the winter), we care about accomplishing one thing, and one thing only:
passing for the racial identity we lied about on our Tinder profile being tan AF. There’s nothing better than shedding your skin on the beach or, basically painting over it with a new color to make you feel better about your pale self. The v serious downside to tanning (after potentially getting skin cancer), though, is how fast your bronze glow fades away into oblivion. Not receiving hundreds of likes or compliments on your first outing back from vacation is like, the biggest slap in the face. IDC how much you like my new romper, what about my racial ambiguity that I worked pathetically hard on?! TELL ME I’M TAN, DAMN IT. For the betches that spend too much time, money, and effort on their tan so they don’t look like Trump Chester the Cheetah only for it not to be noticed, I am with you. I feel for you. So, here’s all you need to know about making your tan last long enough to make it until the next season.
1. Exfoliate Like It’s Your Second Part-Time Job
Science Lesson of the Day: Your newly tan skin happens when the sun blesses your skin with melanin, which gives the top layer that bronze glow we love so much. Because we can’t have nice things, ever, this top layer sheds every two weeks. Before you go on vacation, you’ll want to prep your skin as much as possible for a tan that really lasts. Use a body scrub like Josie Maran Argan Sugar Balm Body Scrub to get rid of dead, dry skin so your new tan reaches deeper within and won’t fade as quickly.
2. Hydrate & Moisturize
Roasting under the sun means you’ll be laying in a sweat puddle after like, 5 minutes. If you’re spending a lot of time outside, you want to hydrate yourself with a lot more water than usual. Although this means it will probs take you longer to get drunk, you want to keep your skin hydrated so it doesn’t peel, aka drive your tan away. After being under the sun, use a moisturizer like Maui Babe After Browning Lotion Tan Enhancer and Healer about twice a day to lock in your dark color and prevent flaking. This moisturizer is good for all year round, too, so you’ll be able to use it after the salon during colder months and after your annual winter St. Bart’s trip.
3. Ditch The Shower Gel For An Oil Or Cream
Any shower gel that leaves behind slimy residue will take your tan off in the shower. You’ll want to switch to a shower oil or cream that locks in your color while cleansing your body at the same time. L’Occitane Cleansing and Softening Shower Oil with Almond Oil is a hell of a good moisturizing oil-to-milk foam (not like, literal milk, ok) that will prevent flaking or peeling. Also, avoid taking a sauna-like shower no matter how hard it is, and opt for one with a cooler temp. You’ll want one after laying out all day, anyway.
4. Eat Food That (Kind Of) Makes You Tan
Food ingredients used in our fav beauty and skincare products are in there for a reason. They obviously fucking help our skin so, eating some of these foods can only better us from here. Foods that have a lot of vitamin A (a fucking vitamin, duh), beta-carotene (orangey-red stuff), and tyrosine (something present in a lot of food but mostly soy products) produce melanin, aka help make us tanner. Run to Whole Foods and stock up on carrots, tomatoes, avocado, and pumpkin seeds (so, like, an excuse to drink more pumpkin spice lattes?) to naturally extend your tan color. This is like, the only motive and perfect excuse to tell people you’re like, really healthy now.
5. Use A Gradual Tanner
Whether it’s after using a self-tanner, laying in a tanning booth, or just being hungover under the sun, you’ll want to continue prolonging your bronze glow by using a gradual tanner at home. Using one like St. Tropez Gradual Tan Everyday Tinted Body Lotion will continue to coat your skin in a natural-looking tan while evening out imperfections and building up to the bronzey summer glow you aspire to have all year round.