You’re not imagining it: Everyone and their mother has been going to Mykonos in the last few years (pandemic notwithstanding, obv). And we can’t really blame them for it—I mean, it’s literally so picturesque, almost like it was made for Instagram.
Ever since the Kardashians started partying in Mykonos back in 2013, people have been booking their flights there faster than you can say “feta cheese.” After all, who doesn’t get swayed by the Kardashians, and of course, Lindsay Lohan? Not me.
But like all things they hype up, I was inevitably a bit unimpressed during a recent trip there. There were people, like, everywhere you looked, and don’t even get me started on how packed those infamous beach clubs were. I’m just out here hoping someone can learn from my mistakes.
Where To Stay In Mykonos
If you’re in your twenties with a trust fund to burn, there’s no doubt you’re going to post up at the wildly overpriced Cavo Tagoo Mykonos—obv complete with a suite, aesthetic view of the ocean, and a private pool (although, realistically, it’s probably not clean enough for a dip).
Instead, I recommend staying at Aegon Mykonos Resort. It’s a Marriott property, nestled in a quieter part of the island (right next to Kalo Livadi), and it overlooks the Aegean Sea. If you’re looking to avoid teenage girls that are trying to get TikTok famous, you’ll be much better off here. There are two restaurants, three bars, plenty of evening entertainment options, and of course, luxurious facilities to boot.
I also highly recommend taking some fitness classes and wellness treatments, too. Hit up the spa for a day of body scrubs, massages, and facials, because let’s be real—you’ll probably need it after the travel journey you had to make to get here. You can choose where exactly you want to get your treatments. Read: On the spa compound located on the hillside, or directly on the beachfront property. (Or, if you really want to live it up, try out both—we support it).
The resort is perfect for big groups or families as the hotel has 75 lavish rooms, suites and villa, embellished with indulgent private pools, hot tubs, and outdoor pool at each compound.
Where To Eat And Drink In Mykonos
If you want to run into every person you ever studied abroad with or swiped right with on Hinge, by all means head to Scorpios. The staff here is too busy flirting with customers than serving you your meal, so be prepared to wait over an hour for your drinks and apps. Ultimately, you’ll need to ask yourself: Are you willing to pay over 300 euros to be ignored and disrespected? If yes, congrats—you’re in the right place. And I hate to be the bearer of bad news here, but the same thing goes for Nammos.
If you want to have an extra miserable time in Mykonos, Noema takes the cake.. It’s the biggest tourist trap and full of Americans—so expect to run into the girl you love to hate on Instagram here. It won’t be a long convo, though; she’s already dying to get to the table so she can post a photo of the mussels and tuna tartare.
Instead, I highly recommend Sentu Beach Club. It’s actually right next to—yup, you guessed it—Lindsay Lohan’s beach club, but it’s far less crowded. Unlike most other beach clubs in Mykonos, it’s not a struggle to walk to the bar without bumping into at least three other people on your way. Pro tip: Try the beef burger—it will change your life.
The club has more empty sunbeds and lots of space around you, so if you like to dance after a few cocktails this is the place to be.
I obviously had to check out LiLoh’s beach club, too. Even though it was super crowded, the service was truly top-notch—just be prepared to shell out over €60 for one of the sunbeds (and if you want one in the first or second row, you’ll pay €70, and have to reserve one in advance. No rest for the weary here.)
What To Do In Mykonos
Most people opt for a bus tour or day cruise with other tourists while in Mykonos, but that isn’t really my scene. Instead, I hired a guide from We Love Mykonos to do my own exploring. We visited Panagia Paraportiani, which is the most famous church for fashion photographers—yes, it’s the one plastered on every other page of Vogue. I also went to Katerina’s Bar, which has an alley next to it with the most picturesque part of Mykonos. I mean, can you picture a more perfect place for a proposal? I think not.
One thing not to do in Mykonos: If someone asks you to click a picture of them in their professional camera, don’t do it. It’s a super common tourist scam, where they’ll actually drop the camera when you give it back to them, accuse you of breaking it, and ask you to pay for it. Sneaky as shit.
Another thing to note: Cabs are expensive in general and notorious for not turning the meter on—or, worse yet, drivers have been known to take unusually long routes to drive it up. I def recommend establishing the path you want your driver to take ahead of time (Google Maps FTW), as well as making sure the meter is turned on.
That said, prepare to splash out when in Mykonos. I mean, the Kardashians love it here—you didn’t really think it would be one of the most expensive, luxurious places on the planet, right?