How To Deal With Drunken Word Vomit

In any given bathroom past the twelve o'clock hour, you can find a drunk overshare taking place. Everyone has seen this, and most likely everyone has done this at some point in their life. Essentially, the drunk overshare is when you pour out your soul to anyone willing to listen and/or share embarrassing details about yourself that you would never normally utter. This can be done with a close friend, casual acquaintance, borderline-stranger or the woman cleaning the toilets. The conversation usually goes like this: “Hey I'm Chloe”  “UGHH This guy I'm hooking-up with won't text me back SO FUCK HIM” and things only get worse from there. It's like a lesser version of the drunk text, except this often ends in an exchange of numbers and promises to “actually” hang out. But that never happens and you're only left with a taste of regret. There are many ways to recover from this little lapse in judgement, all involving pretending it never happened.

What to do:

When you randomly tell some quasi-stranger your life story, never address the situation ever again. For all intents and purposes, it didn't happen. There is literally no way to casually throw extremely personal details of a stranger's life back into the conversation a week later, so do not try. The most you can do is say “hey” the next time you see this person. Anything else is far too aggressive and should not be considered.

When two drunk women both divulge information that is equally personal and inappropriate, that is called a mutual overshare, and it's less uncomfortable than the one-sided alternative, obviously, because at least this person was as drunk as you were. You still pretend it never happened.

At the end of the day, when you tell some girl in your Econ class about your parent's messy divorce because she asked about the homework, you just live and learn. You move on and you grow and take comfort in the fact that we've all been there.


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