How To Avoid Being The Buzzkill Mom

By Haley Heit | February 8, 2021
Mascot

Share this sh*t

We love our kids with a fierce passion, but let’s be brutally honest. Kids do the dumbest sh*t, throw tantrums over nothing, and can be generally difficult to live with sometimes. Do you feel like you are ALWAYS saying things like no, stop, and please don’t put the keys in the toilet? Especially these days, when the only people you get to hang out with are your kids and significant other, and it’s easy to start fantasizing about starting a new life alone on a beach somewhere.

Let’s start by reiterating that we all lose our sh*t sometimes with our kids, and that sometimes is definitely more frequent during a global pandemic. If that perfect chick from high school constantly posts pictures of her smiling family of four with captions like “live laugh love,” just remember she probably didn’t get to poop alone today and definitely counts down the minutes to bedtime. Kids make you lose your mind, and that doesn’t make you a bad parent—but you don’t want to get into the habit of always saying no and killing all the fun.

Now that we’ve reiterated that we are all superstars regardless of how our kids act sometimes, let’s get to some actionable steps to try to be a little less of a buzzkill when kids do their best to ruin the vibe daily. 

Options Are King

Kids love feeling like they are real people that make very important decisions, even though they literally have no clue which is their right hand or how to count to 15, and definitely won’t contribute to society for a solid 20 years. Instead of telling them they need to brush their teeth, ask if they would rather brush their teeth or put their clothes on first. The choice makes them feel in control, when in reality you’re just taking the opportunity for them to say no away.

Redirect Before It Turns Into a Tantrum

Does your kid seem to lose it every time the TV gets turned off? Redirect to the next activity before they can work themselves up too much. Bring out their favorite activity and ask them to do something creative (“what do you want to build with the Legos today?”). It may work 90% of the time or 20% of the time depending on how stubborn they are. Either way, one less tantrum in a day is a win in my book.

Validate Their Feelings

Tantrums are going to happen, it’s a normal part of development.  Kids just don’t understand how to cope with all those big emotions. The past year has been hard on everyone, can you imagine not knowing how to express how you are feeling properly? When your kid flat-out falls on the floor in agony about their pancake being too hot, try to react as calmly as you can. Let them have their moment, because nothing you say or do during the tantrum is going to get through to them. Get on their level and validate their feelings (“I understand you’re frustrated and it’s okay to feel that way, I’m here for you”). By doing this, you’re letting them know that they can feel safe to express themselves around you and that you love them no matter what. This may happen over and over for what feels like forever, but it’s getting through to them and they’ll learn how to communicate with you someday.

Don’t Give In

It’s tempting (especially in a public place) to give in to tantrums to mitigate the sheer embarrassment that your kid is a nutcase. During these times, remember that most people understand that kids in general are a handful and that it has nothing to do with your parenting. And the others can kindly f*ck off because they either don’t have kids or it’s been an eternity since they have. So please ignore the old man that grumbles at you on the plane and the lady who offers unsolicited advice in the cereal aisle. Giving in to tantrums won’t teach your kids how to properly manage their emotions, and may unfortunately make the next outburst worse. 

Remember that you’re still a great mom, even when you say no, yell, and tantrums happen on the daily. It’s a stage that will pass, and you simply showing up every day is proving to them that they can feel safe with you and are loved, which is all a kid really needs. And let’s be honest, as soon as they hit their preteen years, you’ll be a total buzzkill no matter what, so embrace it. 

Images: Alvaro Reyes / Unsplash; Giphy

Cool Mom Crew

$50

View Product

Milf Hat

$32

View Product

Hot Mom Energy Mug

$20

View Product

Lil Betch Bib

$20

View Product

Read the receipts

Subscribe to our newsletters so you're not the only one in the group chat who doesn't know WTF is going on when we're talking about pop culture, politics, reality TV, & more.

Subscribe
See More