How The Fuck Do I Get Over My Ex? Dear Betch

Dear Betch,


Im guessing you guys get asked this a lot, and this may come across really un-betchy but how the fuck do i get over an ex boyfriend? We dated for 3 years and its been about 5 months since we've broken up (he dumped me) and seeing him still gets me upset. Not to mention when FB pics are added of him and other sluts my heart drops into my stomach. I feel like i should be over this by now.

I've tried everything, rebound guys who are hotter and cooler then him, getting wasted with my friends, crying, I blocked him on FB so i wouldn't have to see his shit all the time and i erased his number a while ago. We don't even speak but its clear to me I still have feelings for him. I feel pathetic. Any advice?


Sad Little Betch

Dear Sad Little Betch,

Three years is a really long time to date anyone. It should take you well over five months to fully get over a guy you dated for that long and who ended your relationship by dumping you. I mean Charlotte from Sex & The City says it takes half the time you dated the person to get over them and even though she's an idiot, I think that's about right. 

It seems like you've taken a lot of good steps towards moving on. That being said, there is more shit you can still do to stop thinking about him. Honestly, the best way to get over someone is to fake it until you make it. Go out, try and seem like you're having fun being single, and stop giving a shit about any kind of social media, even if it doesn't involve him. If you start working on improving yourself and looking and feeling your best you'll turn your sadness over him into turning yourself into a hotter, cooler person.

Half of your depression over your breakup is about the rejection so just look back and think of all the ways this guy was wrong for you (there were clearly a lot or you'd still be together). Everytime you miss him think of a time he did something annoying and shitty or he wasn't the person you felt like you deserved.

Finally, a true betch loves herself so much that she doesn't give a shit who else does or doesn't love her so have fun with your besties and just realize you're gonna be in pain and ride this one out sans calorific ice cream. Shit sucks every once in a while, even for people as perfect as betches. What doesn't kill you makes you hotter.


The Betches


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