You’ve probably been told at some point not to drink your calories, but you obviously ignored that and ordered another drink because well, that’s just unrealistic. I mean, as much as we can avoid sugary drinks and 500-cal fraps during the day, going out means drinking your calories. That’s just like, the rules of feminism. Anyway, it’s no shock that alcoholic drinks have a shit ton of calories in them, but it might actually shock you how much exercise you’d need to do to burn it all off. In case you’re wondering why you’ve been slowly putting on weight even though you totally did half an hour on the elliptical once this week, sorry, but this is your rude awakening. Here’s how to burn off those calories based on what you drank.
1. A Glass Of Frosé
As if rosé wasn’t WASP-y enough, frosé has become the cocktail of the summer, but sadly, this Instagrammable piece of art clocks in at around 230 calories with over 30 grams of sugar PER GLASS. That Wölffer Estate Vineyard geotag might be getting you a ton of likes, but whether or not the calories are worth it is debatable. To burn off 230 calories, you’d have to run for about 30 minutes, which is about how long it takes to run a 5k. Just let that sink in. Now look at your life, look at your choices.
2. Rum Or Vodka Shots
Vodka and rum have the same amount of calories, which is about 100 per shot. Taking shots is obviously the best calorie-saving option since you’re avoiding sugary syrups, but considering you’re taking AT LEAST 3 shots when you go out, let’s do the math for 3 shots of either vodka or rum. In case you skipped the second grade, 3 shots is 300 calories, which is basically a 45-minute HIIT or bootcamp type of class. I mean, you might need an extra shot just to deal with the trainer yelling in your face to stop half-assing your burpees, so you might want to factor that in as well.
3. Margarita On The Rocks
The good news here is that tequila is the lowest calorie alcohol (blessings), clocking in at around 70 calories per shot. However, that’s the ONLY good news. Margaritas are filled with sugar and sweet liqueur, and ordering 2 glasses can add up to about 700 calories total. You might have thought you were making the healthy choice by saying no to a blended drink, but even standard margaritas on the rocks are packed with more sugar than the box of Munchkins you proudly rejected this morning. You’d need to burn around 700 calories in an intense 45-60 minute spin class to account for that happy hour at Dos Caminos, so I’d book your bike ASAP if I were you.
4. One Bottle Or Can Of Beer
So you thought you seemed super chill by ordering a beer with your guy friends at a sports bar, even though you literally don’t know the difference between basketball and football. The good news is, beer isn’t THAT high in calories. One bottle is only about 90-150, depending on the brand. However, the fact that you’re super bloated afterwards sucks, and let’s be real—you demolished the chicken fingers being passed around anyway. Luckily for you, you’d burn more than 150 calories in a Vinyasa Yoga class or a 20-minute jog.
5. A Piña Colada
Unless you’re a high schooler at your cousin’s bat mitzvah or you’re at a bachelorette in Aruba for the weekend, I’m not sure why you’d randomly order a Piña Colada, but if you do, just know you’re consuming about 300 calories per drink. The pineapple juice itself is super sugary, and then the coconut milk and coconut cream blended in with the rum just add a ton of calories. You’d have to jump rope for about half hour to burn 300 calories, which sounds like something I haven’t even attempted since seventh grade gym class. Enjoy that.
6. One Vodka Soda
If you’ve been ordering a vodka soda ever since the day you started drinking, you’re a true betch. This staple drink is less than 100 calories, and even though we’re obviously not only having one, it’s our best bet for a legit cocktail you can order when no one else is down to pound shots. The perfect vodka soda consists of one shot of vodka, some club soda, and a
shit ton of slice of lime. Honestly, if you wanted to burn that off as quickly as possible, you can just do treadmill sprints for like, 5 minutes and it’ll do the trick. Calories are calories, but if you had a good night and woke up to 10 texts praising your shit show of a Snapchat story, they were worth it. Cheers.